


I'll Always Keep You

by Xilianr



Series: Can't Get Away From You [2]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Blood and Gore, Dark, Depression, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fantasy, Horror, M/M, Mild Smut, Mythology - Freeform, Nightmares, Suicidal Thoughts, Triggers, Yandere Eren Yeager, Yandere Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-12
Updated: 2018-07-21
Packaged: 2019-03-17 10:00:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 8
Words: 32,540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13656684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xilianr/pseuds/Xilianr
Summary: He had come for you, saved you. That should have ended it. Instead your world was forever altered. He had woken you up from a nightmare only to feel trapped in a whole different dream.Only now there was no way to wake up.** Be sure to read  I'll Always Find You  first! Massive spoilers to the previous story otherwise. **





	1. Awakening to a Nightmare

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please be sure to have read I'll Alway Find You before starting this. Just jumping in here will be out of context, potentially making it confusing. 
> 
> Link to I'll Always Find You:   
> http://archiveofourown.org/works/11039304
> 
> Thank you for reading!

You were sitting on the bench outside the theatre waiting for the pair to arrive. You snuggled into Levi’s borrowed coat as you tapped your boot on the ground to the beat of the music playing in your ear. You looked good wearing your favorite black jeans with a dusky blue top. When you saw the head of sunny blonde hair accompanied by the slightly tousled brunette in the crowd you shouted to them. “Armin! Eren! Over here!” Standing you waved you arm over your head. 

Despite the crowded lobby the show you were seeing was on the verge of leaving so the auditorium was empty as you entered. The three of you picked the seats you normally held in the sea of red cinema chairs. Armin was on one side with Eren on the other, allowing you to act as buffer for all of Armin’s comments on plot holes and Eren’s exuberance at the action scenes. It was a peaceful sort of joy having your friends talking with you in the empty auditorium. The silver screen was blank and the lights were up on full making the space seem even more vacant, a secret place just for the three of you. 

A booming growl from Eren’s stomach interrupted the conversation and had him blushing red. Armin chuckled and pointed out there was time, he should get snacks. Eren nodded leaving to get a bucket of popcorn and some candy for the group to share. He offered to get you anything special you might like but you were still full from earlier. After only a moment Armin said he had to dash to the bathroom, leaving you alone to wait in the vacant space.

What had only a second earlier felt safe and almost home like now took on a feel of foreboding. Had the curtains around the screen always been that color? A sound of claws clacking on the cement floor behind the curtain set of alarm bells in your mind. This time, you would not look behind the curtain. 

‘This time?’

A loud snarl came from behind you, quickly followed by a thump. You held totally still closing your eyes tightly as the deep, rumbling, growl got closer and closer. The image of the taloned feet padding their way to the row just behind you was clear enough you could almost see the thing. ‘Half lion, half feathers and scales. So lovely.’ The hot panting of the beast tickled on the back of your neck. It was so close you could smell it’s putrid breath, a scent like death. ‘When have I ever smelt death?’ You shook the thought free, not wanting to go down the path it led. 

“(F/N)!” Armin grabbed your hand and pulled you away from the fowl thing at your back. Turning you looked at the thing Armin had been trying to save you from. You expected to see a beast huge and looming. A chimera that should have stayed behind the curtain but was no longer obligated to do so. That was not what you saw.

Eren was sitting in the seat just behind where you had been, legs stretched out and crossed at the ankles, arms opened across the back of the seats beside him. He looked totally calm, pleased even. He looked the same, just as he had when he left for the snacks, except with one big difference. He now had glowing green eyes. The glow was so bright you could hardly see that the whites around his emerald irises had turned obsidian black. 

 _‘_ Just like Levi.’ 

What? No, Levi had normal eyes, he was a normal person. This was… not even Eren anymore. This was a demon.

Your hand was suddenly slick and empty of Armin’s hand. Looking to your right, where you expected to see you friend was a gory pile of tattered ruin. The flesh so broken apart you could only guess that it had once been a person. Your hands were red with blood. You started wiping it on your pants trying to get it off your hands.

“Won’t come off, (F/N). Our hands are filthy now. Forever.” You looked up to the strangely familiar yet totally foreign voice. You had heard this voice every day of your life, but never from a mouth other than your own. You looked into your own face, into the you that had done this. Her face was awash with blood, hands dripping with crimson. She wore a blue ribbon adorned white lace dress, so lovely and clean, somehow totally free of the blood still dripping from her. You looked down to see you were in the same dress, your own hands were also dripping just like rain. 

“There is only one thing to fix this. Only the one way to get clean.” You looked up to your own mocking face, white teeth shining brightly from your crimson mask. The sudden cold cut through you like a knife. The icy bolt hit your gut and spread faster than pain, piercing your heart, tattering your soul. You were then slammed to the floor, pinned under your other self. “Only one thing to do.” She pulled free an icicle like blade that had been in your stomach. With composed hands she dragged the razor sharp weapon along the underside of her arm from wrist to elbow. She then repeated the gesture on the other arm. She dropped the blade and pulled you to your feet.

Standing you saw that your own wrists now had the same deep wounds, your blood staining your dress while hers stayed pristine. “We have only one thing left to do. Then we will both be clean.” The dress on you was getting heavy. Looking down, you watched as your arms painted it a deep scarlet, then black. Looking up you were no longer in the auditorium. You stood on top of a pond of perfectly still water that stretch on endlessly under a solid black sky. It was cold here, so cold you could see your breath with every exhale. 

“One thing left.” Your voice echoed around you impossibly in the space. 

‘Die.’ The thought echoed through you at a volume no throat could ever make. It vibrated your bones, shook you through to the very core. The last drop of blood slipped from your slashed open arms and fell to the pool under you. The sound of shattering ice deafened and blinded you. You were falling, falling to hell.

You woke up gasping in a bed you did not own, in a room you did not know. It took a moment to remember but as it all came back and you started to panic. Levi had gone to deal with the one that had kidnapped you. You were in Levi’s bed and you had to do something. Maybe you should call the police? That was when you heard the talking.

You could hear Levi speaking to someone. He was whispering but the anger in his tone made it carry all the way through the open door. You climbed out of bed slowly, legs still shaky under you. You used the wall as a support as you went to see what had upset your vigilant protector. 

“She is resting and I won’t have you waking her. I have a doctor coming in and if needed I’ll hire on a nurse. I am not letting her suffer in some shitty hospital room getting forgotten, feeling alone. So just drop it. She has been through enough, I just want to keep her safe damn it. You can hound her once the doctor okays her. Later.”

“Levi, I understand you want to keep her from going back over the trauma so soon but we need to know if she has any idea about where he went. The other captives never even got out of their cells. Never saw him.”

“Neither did she! When I found her she was tied up and didn’t know who it was that took her. For a moment she even… You assholes need to do your own fucking job and find him, not her. She needs to heal. You saw that place. She needs time to process it all. The world isn’t going to just give that time to her either. Fucking everyone is gonna be asking her to relive that shit.” Levi brought his fist down and it rattled the china on the table. 

“Levi, I want to help the police if I can.” Your voice was so soft and raspy that you worried they wouldn’t hear you. You swayed a little and leaned on the wall a bit harder. Levi was up and at your side in a heartbeat. His arm slid around your waist for support as he walked you to the sofa. 

You looked at the man Levi had been speaking with. He was in his early to mid 40’s with a scruffy goatee and hair that looked like he had just woken up. His shirt was a clean white button up that also had the look of being lived in. Even the leather suspenders that carried his badge and holster had a tiredness that made him look like he was on the verge of exhaustion. The man was the picture of thread worn.

As he stood up to put on his coat to conceal the firearm you caught a strong whiff of cigarette smoke and stress. You had no doubt this man had been losing sleep in his search for you and the other missing. He had been burning his candle at both ends and now you might have the missing pieces to his puzzle. You had to try and help. 

Levi offered you a cup of tea, what had most likely been his cup of tea. Taking the warm beverage you carefully sipped the liquid. You had been in a rather foggy state for the last few days of captivity and couldn’t recall the last time you ate or drank anything. A part of you wanted to down the whole tea pot but after fasting for what might have been days you knew you needed to take it slow. 

“Hello Miss (L/N). I am Detective Nile Dok. I am glad your friend here is so… willing… to look out for you after what you’ve been through-“

“Boyfriend.” Levi interjected, a warning glare given for good measure. You smirked softly at the ferocity of Levi for you. Overbearing as it might get down the road, right now it was a welcome affirmation of his affection. 

“Thanks, Detective. It is really nice to have someone so special to me able to help me like this. I didn’t hear much of what you both were saying but I did hear you say the person that took me wasn’t there when you arrived?”

“No. Mr Ackerman explained that you were pretty out of it when he found you. With the trail still being only hours old we have the best chance of finding the perpetrator. Can you tell me who took you?”

“I can’t, I’m afraid. I never saw him or heard him speak. I’m mostly sure it was a man and not a woman though. I saw his gloved hands. There were a few times he moved me, but I was blindfolded. I did get the impression that he had a very masculine form, at the time.”

“Did you interact with any of the other captives? At any time did you look around and see anything that would lead you to think this person might have a second place he was keeping people? A place he might try and go to?”

“No, nothing like that. I didn’t even know there were others for sure. I only suspected. I got loose in the basement once. I was looking for a way out and found those… things…” You started to trail off, your mind going back to the space full of creations. Looking behind the curtain, the chimeras… You waited for the horror and panic over the experience to appear. When you only felt unanswered curiosity and a slight admiration for the works, even a wistfulness in never seeing them again, you did finally panic. Something was very off with you.

‘What is wrong with me? That was awful. I could have died. I should have died. All those that did die and yet, my salvation came. What makes me so special?’ The thought was like a chilling breeze on your spine. You shivered as the dark whisper started to pull on you.

Levi wrapped his arms around you, his warm kiss on your cheek chased away the blooming cold. He was clutching to you ever so slightly, a fist full of fabric at your waist giving light to how much he felt he had to hang on to you.

“It is too soon for her to get into that shit. She only just woke up. She hasn’t even been free of that hell for 4 hours. You assholes have to inventory the house still, right? That’s where you’ll find answers. Let her settle, let her feel safe. She might have what you are looking for but she wont realize it if you work her up. Come back later.” Levi growled out the last word. You had one thing though, one piece that might help if given now.

“The Animal. There was an animal, I think. Big. Like a tiger or lion or… big. I was blindfolded and really out of it, but I am mostly sure there was a time that there was a live large animal in the basement with me. A couple of days ago? Maybe that will help you find him? Looking for the animal? I wish I could tell you more. I was just so out of it.” The first trickle tickling down your cheek was a surprise. You started to cry, not even sure why. You felt more numb than anything. The tears just started overflowing from deep inside you.

The detective took a long appraising look at you, weighing out what he could actually hope to glean from pressuring you now versus waiting until tomorrow. “Miss (L/N), thank you for trying to push yourself for us. I think Mr. Ackerman is right. I’ll come back. Tomorrow. I’ll get a statement then. Do me a favor and don’t discuss this with him, or anyone else. Also write down anything and everything that comes to mind, if you can. The more you can tell us before the memories get altered by time or other’s influence the better. I will see you, tomorrow.” The emphasis the detective kept giving ‘tomorrow’ made it clear he would not be put off longer than that by Levi.

 

**

 

Levi walked Dok out and grumbled a curt agreement to the detective’s return tomorrow. Before the door could be closed a pleasantly smiling woman came up the walk. Levi looked the doctor over and gestured for her to enter. He didn’t even voice a greeting before his cascading concerns escaped him.

“She just woke up, not even three uninterrupted hours sleep. The only thing she has had is a cup of green tea. Can I cook something for her? Should I cook something or will it only upset her stomach?” Levi felt powerless, trying to give his girl anything she wanted but not knowing what would be more harm than help. He was so focused on his internal worrying for (F/N) that he didn’t even bother to try and soften himself a little for the doctor’s observations. His normal emotionless mask was in place. This made him seem more gruff, coming off as disinterested or mechanical.

“Well I would recommend something light if she is hungry. Maybe just some fruit or a clear broth soup with vegetables. Let her body get used to eating again, gently. Getting her some probiotics might aid in preventing indigestion too. I understand you are concerned she was fasting for over a day?”

“Yeah. Not really sure how long she was bound up but it had seemed she was really weak and her muscles were cramping when I found her, she couldn’t stand. She seems a lot better now but I just want to make everything as easy on her as I can.” The urgency of the words were wrong for the tone of his voice. The doctor looked at him in a thoughtful manner and gave a shallow couple nods.

“Let me take a look at her and I will give you both my recommendation on how to deal with her current situation. Is there a good place for us to have some privacy while I examine her?” This doctor was a considerate person and it was obvious to Levi he didn’t need to worry about her accidentally upsetting (F/N).

“The bedroom should be large enough and give some privacy.” The doctor stopped and tilted her head to the side, obviously weighing out weather or not to ask the next question. Levi stopped and gave his normal deadpan expression to the doctor as he waited. The physician was even less impressed by his blank wall attitude.

“I don’t want to examine her anywhere that might be extra triggering. Are you sure that there wasn’t any trauma involving a bed-“

“He didn’t rape her. Bastard didn’t get a chance to defile her like that.” Levi spat the words but then a painful knot in his gut made him continue. “You should check to be sure. I hate to think she endured that. I don’t care what wounds we have to heal, I just want to help her.” Levi was looking at the floor as he muttered a final admittance. “I love her so much I don’t care what happened as long as she can be happy again, we can be happy again.”

The doctor only looked at the man she had originally expected to be more hinderance than help for the poor woman she was about to meet. He was so pained by the idea of her not being able to handle the hardships she had faced that it was apparent even through the blank mask he wore for the world. This was devotion. 

In hopes of being better able to treat her new patient Doctor Kadowaki had checked in with the police on what to expect. Knowing that the poor thing had been through hell meant that she needed love and support. At first glance the cold and expressionless man before her had seemed a less than ideal care giver. This little glimpse was promising though. Maybe he could be enough.

Entering the living room Doctor Kadowaki was sorry to see the young woman wiping away tears in an attempt to be presentable for the new arrival. “Hello (F/N) I’m Doctor Kadowaki, you are welcome to call me Doctor K or even just Doc, if you like.” (F/N)’s eyes were a little too large, fear was rolling from the young woman. The way her eyes flicked to behind the warm smile made Kadowaki turn. Was the man the cause? Was she afraid of him?

“Levi? Could you stay? I don’t… I really need you with me.” Doctor Kadowaki was surprised to see that Levi had left them to go to the kitchen. His attempt at giving them privacy had been what triggered the sweet girl’s panic. 

Levi looked at the doctor as if unsure how to answer. His earlier concerns of his wanting to do the best for her, even if she didn’t know what that was, rang in the physician’s ears. “I think it would be better if I saw you without Mr. Ackerman at first, if that’s ok? We will just go back to the bedroom while I give you an examination. After that if you would like me to explain everything with your friend present that will be fine.”

“Boyfriend. Levi is my boyfriend.” The emphasis on the second statement of boyfriend was nearly pleading, like she was trying to explain why he should be there with them. This made Doctor Kadowaki a little nervous. She had seen over-dependency bloom from stressful situations before and this had a few red flags already. 

Still it might be nothing. The poor dear had been through such a horrible ordeal that was still fresh on her skin, wanting support from her rock might be purely reasonable. The pair of them had a pretty messy situation to weather and that might make it seem like they were trying to hang on to each other a little bit too tightly. 

“I understand dear. You’ll be back with him soon.” Doctor Kadowaki smiled warmly as she guided the woman back. She was already trying to set aside a time in her schedule to plan the follow up.

 

**

 

The doctor Levi had gotten for you was kind and gentle. She was taking in everything you said even if she didn’t accept you at your word on not having been assaulted by more than chemicals. Along with photos of any scratches or bruises, various kits were used. All the poking and prodding was done with care but the insecurity in your center was building even in the security of Levi’s space. A urine sample and blood sample were also taken for testing, ending the doctors thorough examination of you. 

After first trying to explain to you what you needed to do to recover and only getting a glass eyed stare for her trouble the doctor gave in. You could hardly understand half the information she was slowly and carefully explaining. Finally Levi was allowed to hear all the information that the doctor had tried to impart to you. You gave a sigh of relief that Levi was there to help. Shell-shocked did not even begin to cover how you felt.

After the doctor left, Levi ran you a bath. At first he seemed to want to let you have privacy but when you practically pulled him into the tub he yielded and joined you. You settled into the water with Levi seated behind you. You calmed as strong arms washed you gently, the terrors of the past week and a half finally started to fade. You started to let the dark shadows in the back of your mind go, looking forward to getting back to life as it was meant to be. Your friends would be eager to see you for sure. You would call your family once the dust settled a little more. You were eager to tell everyone you were alright but wanted to wait until after you had told the police everything. As you were now, your impressions of events could be easily manipulated.

Levi was delicate with you as he dressed you in an old shirt of his that seemed too large to ever have fit him. He also gave you a notebook to put everything down in along with several pens. He simply said to tell them everything, to leave nothing out. He would make a point of looking away as you wrote, not wanting to influence your choice of words. He said nothing about his rescue of you and, even after you asked him, he refused to tell you what happened after he left you in his bed. You could only sigh in resignation as he refused to say who your captor was, sighting the detectives insistence that you not be influenced by him.

Most of the day was spent with Levi trying to give you a sense a normality. He would put on movies the pair of you had already watched, or talk about things the cats had been doing that had amused him. He skillfully avoided any conversation around the world outside. He only mentioned work to say he had called to take some time off. He did not mention any of your friends or coworkers. Even Rico was sidestepped as a subject beyond his assuring you that the basement apartment was sill yours should you want it.

“I don’t think it is such a great idea living in a basement after my finding you in one, love.” Levi was filling in the time between films with a conversation you were not wanting to have. Finding a new place would take you further from him. You wanted to go back to normal, not move.

“I can’t think about moving right now, Levi. I can’t really think at all. Everything still feels so weird. I just want to get back to the life I had. I don’t want everything to change just because of one psycho.” Levi had a fair point on the basement flat not being the ideal place but it was still home in your mind. Sure it might get a little rough at times but if you were right next door to your boyfriend it was easy enough to run next door. 

“I get it pet. I do. I would help you pack up though. We can go as slow as you need. I don’t mind helping to pay a bit if you can’t jump right back into work either. Please don’t just try and take on the world alone right now. I am here, I want to help and I have all these resources. Let me do what I can.” Levi was looking at the scrolling list of movies but you could feel his focus on you. He was pushing and he was worried you would buck at his offer to help. 

“Paying for three places, one of which is a house, even for just a month is crazy.” You stated it as the obvious truth it was. He was being sweet but that much money could go to better uses. 

“Three? This place is big enough for all of us, easily. You don’t intend to kick me out of my own house do you?” He stopped scrolling and bit his lip, waiting for what he hoped to be a positive understanding. He was offering to have you move in. Not just move in for a while so you could find a new place, but to come live with him. You swallowed hard. You had known Levi less than a year, let alone how long you two had been dating, and moving in together was a big step. 

“Levi, weren’t you the one that wanted to take it slow? I know it was hard having me vanish-“

“You were kidnapped by a madman. Not vanished like a shitty magic trick. Kidnapped. For nine fucking days. You were not on some damn vacation.” The harshness to his words were only softened by the absolute sorrow you saw in his eyes. “I understand your want to get back to normal. You need to brace for things to not be as they were, though. We can get back to a version of normal. Us living together can be normal. It will be our new normal.” You felt like there were parts being left unsaid, things he was leaving out that might make his offer more reasonable. 

“I’ll think about it.” You would think about it once you had started to feel like you again. Right now you were so far from where you had been you were unsure of even how to get back. You just wanted to do the things you had been doing before. Go to work, come home to your cats. Go to the market on a Wednesday with your boyfriend, hang out with your movie buddies. You had a small set of actions that had been simple pleasures, but ones that really mattered. 

Levi nodded and selected the next movie from the list. As the opening title started you closed you eyes and settled a little more into Levi. You knew this was not the last you had heard of his wanting you closer. All you wanted for now was to be right where you were. Safe and sound, working back to the life you had before.

The rest of the day was equally lazy with you cat napping and writing in the notebook but mostly just cuddling up with Levi. The pair of you seemed to need to be as close as you could all the time. Levi rarely let himself be out of reach and abandoned any task the second you seemed to be falling inside your head. You had a light dinner and the promise of a late night snack if you wanted. 

When it came time to try and sleep Levi thought nothing of simply climbing into bed next to you and holding you close. If he was even a little tired you couldn’t tell but he still seemed eager to just hold you as you slept. When you woke in the dark, he was awake and there to sooth you every time. You did wake up, more often than you could count, and a few times you could not be sure weren’t dreams. 

For the first time in a long time you had no recollection of you dreams. It was a strange feeling not having even a lingering sense of what you had been dreaming. After the ordeal you had just been through maybe it was really a blessing. The nightmare you had the night before, of a movie day going so very wrong, was bad enough to make you glad that you didn’t recall any others.

When morning came you heard Levi once again telling the detective that you weren’t ready, that you needed more time. A cold knot of dread starting in your stomach. You picked up the notebook you had filled with every thought you had of your days in captivity. All the horrors you hoped to get away from you, imprisoned on those lines, trapped in rich blue ink. 

You left out the chimera coming to life, along with the fear of losing your mind. That had all been so nightmarish and didn’t make any sense. You didn’t want to sound crazy so you left out most of what the drugs were possibly influencing. The thing was an animal of some kind, a big animal, not a monster.

You did decide to mention your momentary fears of Levi being your captor. You also included that Levi had been beating the hell out of your captor when you woke up. You were vague about what he did with the item he pulled off the shelf but you figured if he had left behind finger prints you weren’t doing him any favors by lying. You ended up being vague on all that happened after getting drugged the final time, after finding those things. Everything was so fuzzy you just couldn’t make sense of what was real or how much might have been nightmare.

You entered the living room and settled in next to Levi as you told your story to the detective. Nile was quiet the whole time and once you finished there was a grim look on his face. You had not left out anything you thought would help them, only the part that might get you thrown in a psych ward. Even with Levi’s arm pressed against your shoulder while his hand held yours tightly, you were feeling colder. A chill was slowly taking hold in you and nothing seemed to be shaking it loose. Something bad was coming.

“Miss (L/N), I hate to ask you this when things are still so difficult but I need to know if you think it is possible your captor was Eren Jaeger?” The hesitation in his asking seemed a little too intentional. His concern for your potential distress almost felt insincere. Why was he asking this when you had already stated that you had no idea who took you?

“Eren? He wouldn’t… I know he liked me. Sure he would go a bit too far sometimes. But not lock me away like some doll to be kept in a cupboard… Not make… He made those things? He really did that?” You were trying to make the question reasonable. Surely the detective was asking for a good reason, not just throwing out names at random. Every thing was feeling a little more numb. You were falling inside your head more. Only Levi holding your hand a little too tightly kept you aware of the conversation. 

“Stop. She isn’t ready. Just stop.” Levi and the room he was in felt so far away you couldn’t be sure if he was whispering or yelling.

“Can you confirm for us with any degree of certainty that Armin Arlert, Petra Ral, Sasha Blouse, Krista Lenz or any other believed captives weren’t helping hold you?” The accusatory tone he used was  insulting. Did he think you were hiding something? Were people being asked if they thought you had helped torture them?

“No, but I said I didn’t see anyone else. It seemed to be the one guy moving me. The same guy feeding me. The one guy. Why are you asking me? Just ask Levi. Just ask Armin. They will be able to tell you that Eren could never do those things. We would have known if it was Eren.” You were curt as you pointed out what you felt was obvious. Your reaction seemed to surprise the detective.

“Mr. Ackerman was clear with his suspicion that Jaeger was the one to take you. I am sorry to be the one to tell you this, Miss (L/N), Armin Arlert is believed to be one of the deceased. As is coworker Sasha Blouse. Many more are still being identified. The other captives are in the hospital, recuperating.” Levi was just staring at the detective, jaw dropped slightly. As he slowly turned to try to ready himself for the impending reaction, Levi was stamping down any of his own emotions. Levi had suspected the death of Armin when he was not among the imprisoned. Levi also knew you were not ready to hear it. This was not how he intended for you to find out.

That was how the icy floor supporting you finally broke. Your reality fell upon the jagged edges with no hope of defense. The frosty glass like shards cut your very being to ribbons. You started to shake. Tears were streaming down your face and you were adrift in the torrents of grief. You started struggling in your own skin to find a way free of this cold truth. Your whole body was wracked with sobs that echoed of your heart’s screams. When strong arms tried to still your thrashing, it barely registered. You were twisting and fighting against Levi, not even knowing what you hoped to accomplish with it. Levi yelled for the detective to get out. The detective did not need to be told twice. Levi’s anger slipped away quickly as he used his whole body to hold you. You were shattering apart despite his attempt to keep you whole.

The life you had wanted to return to was gone. If not for Levi you were as good as alone again. It was all falling apart. Your good friend Armin was dead. He was dead and your other good friend, his best friend, had murdered him. 


	2. Echo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *points at tags*  
> YANDERE Levi, depression, suicidal thoughts trigger warning.

Looking up at your ceiling you were feeling lost. It had only been four days since you left Levi's to go back to your place, cats in tow. Seven short days since you were rescued from Eren. The truth was still painful to stomach. You needed to find what was actually left of what had been. Levi had argued you needed rest and support and he had the room. You had heard him insisting you should just move in. You had those words still ringing in your ears as you looked at the dim ceiling of your basement flat.

You closed your eyes and the weight of sleep would pull at you but not grant reprieve through slumber. You felt wrong. Everything felt different. Changed. Nothing was familiar or safe anymore. You hadn't slept more than a couple hours in a row but normally an hour was the max. Not that you were getting out of bed between attempts. No music had been started once you entered the bedroom and settled into the bed. The silence you were laying in spoke volumes of your condition. 

Levi was so supportive of you that it had been painful forcing the distance between you. He had found you, saved you. You had been so moody he could never be sure you wouldn't just start crying. Your emotions were a whirl wind spinning you every which way. You felt like a tainted rotten thing, just corroding his space. His immaculate home was a constant mess with you and your cats present.

Books didn't stay on shelves, the counter was just cleared of all items to remove the need to constantly pick up the knocked over debris. Even the furniture was getting slowly destroyed by the claws of the cats. They weren't doing it on purpose, but hopping up on things seemed to lead to so much wear and tear. The worst offense was the fur coating everything he owned. Nothing was without fuzz even though he had added a lint brush in every room.

You were poisoning his life with your presence and he was too benevolent to acknowledge it. He was only thinking of how you had been missing and he had wanted you back. You were granted so much leeway that you could commit no wrong. You could see you were ruining everything though.

You felt like your skin was constantly dirty. You could shower and you could clean and still everything was filthy. You were spreading that filth with every breath. If you were cleaning when he came in, Levi would just take over the task. He would finish so quickly and you could see how much cleaner he could make anything. You knew your meagre ability could never satisfy someone with that level of mastery.

He must have started to understand it as that because you were sure he was trying to get you to move in less and less. He would come over after work and cook or clean up or just sit with you but you were so far from him. Time would soon reveal the truth to him. You two were fundamentally doomed to eventually split apart. You were choking on a need for him, but that only made it selfish to keep him. He did so much for you, but what could you offer him? Messy pets, improper cleaning, and a burdened life. He had no need for that and it was only a matter of time until he realized it.

There was a noise in the other room and it took you a moment to figure out what it was. You were not scared by the sound but instead aware of how numb you must be to feel no fear at an unannounced intruder. Levi had come over again and was talking to the cats. He was saying he would feed them if they needed it still. If he was off work that meant you had been in bed all day. The cats needed feeding. You needed feeding.

"Hey, Sweetheart, have you eaten at all today?" Levi called to you, you could hear him feeding the cats at the same time. There was such care in his voice, but you felt so undeserving of his affection. As the tears started to run down your cheeks you wondered how to hide the evidence before he came in. "Sweetness? You awake?"

"I'm up." Your reply was basically just a whisper so you doubted Levi could hear you.

Levi entered view and stood in the doorway. He had worry all over his face. With a deep sigh he put on his emotionless mask to try and prevent another eruption on your part. Tears were the most common condition but one time you had yelled at him in unrelenting rage to “just leave” until he yielded and went. With effort you realized that had been last night in fact, time was getting harder to keep track of. You looked at him now and saw that he was unsure of how to proceed with you.

"Just go, Levi." You were monotone and the trails on your cheeks, while obvious to Levi, were no longer being renewed by fresh tears. Levi gave a sigh and nodded as he turned away.

"I'm only a phone call away. Or just come over. My home is your home whenever you are ready. Please Sweets don't break yourself by taking on too much alone." Levi managed to be just as deadpan in his offer.

You knew it was only a matter of time before he would stop trying to come over, give up on saving you. He would move on. It would be for the best. He was too wonderful to keep being held down by your flaws. You closed your eyes and the dark was finally able to swallow you up, even with the icy pit in your stomach.

 

**

 

Levi entered his own home to a silence he hated. The cats had been a chorus of greetings when he came home and the quiet now made the absence echo. He had found her, brought her home, only to lose her to her own mind. It was nearly more than he could bear having her be so far from him. She was his damnit, she was finally his. 

“This is fucking stupid. She isn’t in the right head space, idiot, go back over there and do what needs doing. If she won’t be here, then just go there.” A brief flicker of just forcing her home passed through his mind. 

‘Finders keepers.’ The darker part of his heart purred. She was hurting and needed to come home. Home for him had become where ever she was, but that was not the same for her it seemed. She wanted to run back into the underground shelter like a horse running into a burning barn. It was up to him to help her see the error. ‘Just bring her home. She is light, easy to overpower. Just bring her home where she belongs.’ The old whisper of his past self sounded almost reasonable. 

“Not yet. Not like that, just yet. It has only been a few days. I’ll show her I am not going to let her go. She wants to be there, so we will just both be there.” Levi reasoned through aloud. He wanted to do right by her, keep her safe. Though it was not easy for him to see how bringing her home again was not doing that, he could convince himself to wait a little longer before acting. 

She had been in bed still. His poor sweetheart was probably hungry. He went to the kitchen and sourced out what dinner he would make for them. As he collected the ingredients and place them in some extra paper bags he made a mental checklist of what else to bring over. He went to the movie rack and collected a few of the ones he thought she would like. He grabbed up a few that were standby favorites of his as well. 

This would help her see that he was serious. She was his now and it was stupid that she was not just living with him. He had left her once to save her from him. Now he had saved her again and it was time that he be repaid. She had said she was his and he intended to collect.

Erwin had been right to try and make him promise to never do this again. Erwin had been right about so many things. The one last thing he had been wrong about though. Levi had loved Erwin, but that was not enough to keep Erwin alive it seemed. Levi would not lose her as he had Erwin. 

Exiting his home and heading over to the basement containing his dearest, Levi smirked softly. “Don’t worry sweetheart. I won’t ever lose you again. Not even death will take what is mine from me. Not this time.” 

 

**

 

You woke to the sound of someone in your home. You could hear something that sounded like sizzling food and the smell wafting into the bedroom was amazing. You could hear the familiar sound of a movie playing in the other room and even the cats playing in what must have been paper bags.

For a brief moment you wondered if Rico had decided to just use your kitchen for some reason and didn't know you were home. Then you heard the humming. Levi was in your kitchen cooking and watching your TV like he lived there.

Your half asleep mind was so happy. Levi being there and the sounds of life and joy from everything you cared for felt perfect. For a brief second you expected this was how heaven must feel. You wanted every day to begin like this for the rest of time. You had a moment of such pure elation before the bitterness started in.

It broke your heart because you wanted that life so badly. He was so perfect and you could never deserve him. How was he so incapable of seeing how ill-suited you two were? Was he so desperate for any affection he would take even yours? The tears came without warning, heavy and drowning. The ice cold knot in your stomach was painful enough on its own and to burden Levi with it was unacceptable.

You looked to the desk and all your art supplies. The box of craft knives was easy to spot and the thought was such a simple solution. You could free him. He might never let go otherwise and you would end up destroying him. You could not let that happen.

You climbed as silently as you could from the bed. You went over and picked up the tool you had used to cut out a dozen flowers made of card stock back before you were stolen. Sitting on the floor you started to change out the older blade you had dulled to a fresh blade. He wouldn't understand at first, he might even lament your loss but in the end you were saving him. For him, you could endure any pain, any except his suffering.

You lined the blade up with the soft flesh of the underside of your wrist. You could save him from you. As you took a deep breath in then let it out slowly to steady your hand, your cat Bishop came in. You didn’t finish your movement, blade stopping just before touching skin. His fluffy face and mismatched eyes were bright with an obvious joy at seeing you awake and on the ground ready to play. Coming over to see you, he purred louder, and started to rub along your side.

A startling dark thought had you standing the second it entered your head. 'He would get Levi messy too. I should take him with me. Send him ahead of me.' What the fuck sort of thought was that? Harm, kill, Bishop? You could never do that. He was your charge, you should die for him, not hurt him, never harm him.

The tears stopped. The glacier in your gut shattered as an inferno of rage at yourself for even having the thought put the razor blade back in its protective case. You opened the drawers and pulled every sharp device or cutting implement out and stuffed it into a craft box that was on the shelf near by.

Bishop nuzzled along the back of your legs, his soft purr a soothing harmony with Levi's humming from the kitchen. You were so stunned by the completely alien thought even entering your head you knew you weren't thinking right. You couldn't be sure you could do this alone. Luckily there was at least one person you knew could be trusted to help you, to always help you.

"Levi." You called too softly, your voice not behaving as you wanted. You were sure he wouldn't be able to hear you but he was there in the doorway when you looked over. He was looking at the box in your hands and the contents of it made a shadow of terror flicker through his eyes.

"Baby, what... what are you doing with all those things?" He was calm sounding but the mask he was using to hide his feelings was cracking and you could see his fear surfacing.

"I had some awful thoughts Levi. I was... thinking I could help you get rid of me. Save you from me." Your eyes were watering now. The frozen tide swallowing up the burning rage that the thought of harming Jones had forged. For a second you looked longingly into the box, regretting putting all the usefully sharp tools inside. Levi had the box in his hands and was taking it up the stairs before you could even feel the first tear fall.

When he returned he slid his arms around you, gentle with his touch. He was kissing your cheeks, total heartbreak now apparent on his face. His breathing was ragged and you could tell this was hurting him. He was looking at you with so much emotion but you couldn't understand it. You were too busy sinking into the arctic sea overwhelming your heart.

"Please don't. Never do that Sweetheart. I... I love you. I was going to wait until you were more settled to say it but fuck (F/N) I am in love with you. Don't leave me like that, please. I have already… one person I loved. I can't do that to you too." Levi was crying now. His hold on you was trembling. He clutched to you as if you might fall away into the shadows if he didn't hang on tight enough. The worst part was you thought he might be right.

"I'm sorry Levi, I'm not... clear headed. I even thought about how I should... to keep your place cleaner, that I needed to... Bishop..." Even saying the awful thought out loud seemed too horrible. The thought was back, though. As the cold feeling started to overtake all sensation the awful thoughts of how you couldn't just go alone started to creep in again.

Levi stopped crying and stared at your hands as if he could see something on them. A flicker of rage passed in his eyes before he collected himself. Could he see that your hands were forever dirty? Did he finally see that you were filthy and that he had to get away from you? The panic of losing him was trying to struggle up passed the frozen wall now robbing you of any thought but self destruction. Levi was calm as he ran his thumbs over your knuckles in a slow rhythm.

"Did you ever feel like this before you were taken, pet? Had you ever felt this exact way and had these thoughts before?" He was so reasonable sounding that you missed the strangeness of the question, you failed to mitigate your answer to him. He would forgive that, he was your Levi after all.

"I've had suicidal thoughts before, but not for years, never to this scale. I've never thought of harming my cats before. That terrifies me. I can't get these thoughts to stop Levi. It's like a voice outside of me talking and yet it's in my head. It's me but not me. I've never felt this exact way before. I'm losing my mind aren't I?" Levi held you tightly to his chest and sighed in what sounded like absolute frustration. He must have been really mad with you.

"How could I have missed this. How could I have been so blind as to miss this happening? Shit sweetheart. You are coming back over. I'm taking everything dangerous to work until we get you back to stable. I'm so sorry I let you leave. I should have seen what was happening. We are going to get through this. You are MINE and I won't let that darkness have you." He sounded so angry but now there was a new feeling fighting to take hold of you. Clarity was falling in right behind it.

The sanctuary of Levi's hold was calling up the warm restful feeling you would often get in his company. The thick chill that was painfully set in your bones started to ebb from the warmth. Levi's soft kisses broke the thoughts away and once again the thought of harming your beloved pets, harming yourself, all felt so foreign and easily ignored.

You could think a little clearer and knew the anger in this man wasn't at you. It was at the dark thoughts that had tried to take you all from him. He had one hand on the close by Bishop, fingers deftly finding the right spot that had the cat flopping over in contented kitty nirvana. Levi was not upset at your cats, or you. He was Levi, after all. If he was angry with you, it would have been pretty obvious.

"You are going to be alright my little one. I am going to protect you. Everything is going to be alright."

"Levi?"

"Yes (F/N)?"

“I’m… I love you too. I am so sorry that I almost-“ Levi stopped you with a finger to your lips. Looking at him you lost your breath to speak. You were enthralled by Levi, eyes locked on the expression of the man you had confessed your love to. He was smiling. Not just his normal but rare smirk that served as a smile on most occasions, but a real full smile. 

"Shh. It's alright, you didn't do it. You had a thought. You've been through such a trauma, this shit leaves a mark. You are so strong that you asked me to help you. That's hard to do. Some fools just act and never fight. But you, you fought, my lovely. I have you and we will get through this." You fully understood as that warm safety that seemed to happen with Levi settled your nerves and wrapped up your heart. You loved him and he loved you. He wanted your mess in his life. He wanted you, quirks and all.

"Sweetheart, promise me. Promise that if the feeling comes back you will tell me immediately. Even if it's not about harming you or them, but it's that Voice in you head. That scary unnatural feeling that was you but not you. Even if you have to call me at work, you will tell me immediately." There was an adamance to his words that warned they held more meaning than the obvious.

"I promise Levi."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is as deep as the pit really ever gets for poor Reader. Now go watch something funny, like Norigami. Remember Levi and I love you. <3
> 
> As always, comments are welcome. I am ever so grateful for you, my readers! Thank you!


	3. Life Moves On

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those who, like me, can't read a depression heavy story without triggering I will say a few things. This does not have real depression symptoms used in it intentionally. Mostly this is plot driven but I just didn't want that kind of suffering to be my story. Even I can't stay in those depths too long. 
> 
> *points at mythology tag* I was going to wait to really make sure folks saw what I was intending but... now I am not.

Looking down at the soft underside of your arm you felt a pull to look for a way to tear it open. 'So easy if I just had the right tool.' You reached over and grabbed up what you needed. Tapping the speed dial you waited for Levi to pick up. It was after only the first ring that his honeyed tone told you he was already guessing at the cause of the call.

"Good morning Lovely. You feeling alright?"

"Morning Levi. That Voice is here. It's my arms this time. Undersides of my wrists to be exact.”

At first Levi had taken time off to help sort out what was eating at you. It only took one day of his nonjudgmental talking with you about this new voice poisoning your mind to find a way to express what was happening. Then the two of you had found ways to shut the thoughts down, mostly in the arms of Levi as he helped gently remind you of reality. When he went back to work it had felt scary to lose what had become your anchor.

You had felt awkward the first time you had to call him. You had promised him though, so you did call him. The favored solution of just climbing into his arms wasn't an option. His work day having just started meant it was best he not just come home. You hated the chance he might leave work just to come hold you, much as you wished he could.

Levi, with his blunt ways, cut right to the chase and with concise orders had you feeling clear headed and safe in only a handful of steps. After that a short hand had started to form. Greet one another, note that the Voice had started again, state what it was focused on, do what ever Levi said. This victory would last only a day though with the Voice seeming to greet you anew every morning. This was nothing like any sort of depression you had dealt with before. You had never weathered a metal breakdown before though. Was this what I was like to ‘hear voices’? 

"Shit, so early in the morning again? Wish that damn sow would let you sleep more." Levi had immediately started treating the Voice as an external entity. Somehow it had helped make it easier to talk about. Less shameful to say 'that Voice is doing it again' than 'I can't control my own thoughts'.

You figured any real therapist would hate the potential issues the system Levi crafted could crop up. One of the more disastrous options being a possible total disassociation of self with a significant over dependence on Levi. So far it was working wonders for you though. You waited patiently as Levi thought on the best guards against this assault.

"I want you to shower and get dressed in something comfy. A little on the tight side. No sleeves though. Then get my hoodie to wear. I think the navy one I was wearing last night is mostly clean. Or grab one of the clean ones. I think I only have black ones hanging right now but scavenge what feels best."

As usual the solution was presented as an order, not a suggestion. He was leaving you room to make small alterations but the big points were clear and had to be met. Feel clean; put on something that would put pressure around you, hold you, since his arms were too far away; wear something of his as a barrier against the focal point of the poisonous thought. Levi had pulled out a spectrum of gloves for when it was your hands, his sweats and socks for your legs and feet, and the hoodies made great coverage for the rest. He had even changed his clothing a few times just to put worn articles on you the rest of the day.

"You wearing the bracelet I got you? You should put that on now and have it be the first thing put on when you dress again. Remind that damn Voice your arms are mine.” The anger in his growled claiming of you was not for you but it did take a second to fully believe he wasn’t mad with you.

"Hm I had thought I wore it to bed. Did you take it off me? Did you see it when you got up?"

Levi had also been letting his phrasing get more possessive, especially around reference to the Voice. At times you felt a small bit of rebellion at sounding like an objectified property of his. You were yours and yours alone in that way, not his toaster oven. The other part of you felt security in his claiming you. You weren't alone or isolated in your efforts. You weren't just in his care like some stray, you were HIS, a part of him. The fears of losing your independence were commonly assuaged by the knowledge that you weren't being taken over but rather giving yourself over to him temporarily. It was a gesture of trust in him being there to help but only as needed.

"I did not. Check my bedside table though. You were on my side when I got home. That reminds me, you want to move the bed so you have it against a wall? I noticed that's how you kept your bed. It's no bother to me. Just need to move around some things."

You were pacing back and forth in the bedroom in question. Levi had a very spacious home and the bedroom did sometimes feel extra vacant when he was at work. It wasn't the Voice whispering that either. You recognized the thought as yours. You liked sleeping with your back to Levi, so he could guard it, but when he was working so late you often fell asleep in odd angles at the head of the bed to put a wall at your back or on his side of the bed in a nest of all the homes pillows, since it felt a little more like he was there.

"It would involve moving everything, you mean. Are you sure it wouldn't freak you out? Changing things so significantly, I mean."

“Tch. I’m a creature of habit but not some nut job that has to do the EXACT same thing every day or flip out."

He was being especially glib about your concerns for him as another one of his treatments, you had noticed. He had started being nearly cruel about how nothing was a trouble to him. No doubt he was trying to combat the easily anticipated discourse the Voice would use: burdening him. As it was, you were more worried about his over working than his fretting over you.

Levi had taken just over a week off to help settle you into his place after the night he packed every sharp anything into his car. You suspected there might be a knife or two somewhere that Levi had hidden because food was always cut for you, but he wouldn't let you know where. It was for the best really. It was still terrifying when the Voice would try and focus on your pets. Now back at work Levi tended to be gone from earlier than you were up and well after you were asleep. His days were long and swallowed up by catching up the projects with Recon Corp.

Your own job had given you an option of trying to come back right away but you had realized after that first two weeks that you needed more time and that it was probably best they not wait on your return. Levi had been rather adamant about you not pushing to get back to work, and the stress of it, until you were solid on not having the Voice trying to harm you or others. A very sound argument.

Looking on the bedside table that more often held Levi's belongings you found the leather wristband with a metal loop on it. It had only been four months since you received the gift but it felt like years, a different life even. You put on the solid feeling weight and instantly felt the Voice quiet into silence. It was always like this. The Voice would start eating at you, you would call Levi, and Levi would put something on you that would instantly stop the Voice. It was strange but with everything feeling so strange you could only just accept it for working.

"Found it. I must have taken it off in my sleep again. Thanks. You have any time off to help me move this stuff? That dresser is at least three times my weight. And thats if I empty it.“ The last was mumbled more than spoken into the phone. You hated that Levi was constantly working now, if not actually at work, tasked with you at home. He needed time off to decompress too.

"Yeah, I had an idea about that. When you went missing, Mike, the grocery manager, you remember? He started coming by to check up on me. Now that you're home he has only been calling me, but I thought he could help you move things, since I'm working? He's a really well grounded guy, well balanced and kind. Might help you feel a little more secure even with me working all the time."

There was his real reasoning you suspected. He wanted his friend to be watching you when he couldn't.

"You thinking it would be today?"

"Only if you felt up to it. He called this morning to be sure I was eating. Like I can afford to skip meals. I'd end up eating Eld. Poor old soul, it's always him that ends up wrangling me. Before you made me so much more manageable that is… Mike though, you want him to come over and help or not today?"

"I think it would be nice to talk to someone new. Yeah, today. We can move the stuff in the bedroom. You'll get home to a totally different room! Hopefully you won't hate it."

"Long as you are there, I can't see how I would. There is one more thing I should probably mention before he shows up. It might change your wanting him to come by. I'm pretty nervous saying it so don't be a shit about it."

"I'm not gonna be a brat just because you’re always calling me one."

Levi gave a tense sigh. Whatever was coming was important to him. You had to be sure not to just react without thinking.

"Mike was sort of a fuck buddy before I met you. We were never that serious about each other but we were what might get called exclusive, I guess. Once I you moved in next door I called it off with him, but when you were stolen... I needed support. No sex, not like that. I needed-"

"Someone to be sure you ate and slept and didn't assault certain detectives?"

"Yeah, basically."

"He knows you and I are dating?"

"He knows you are my everything, more like. I talk about you a lot. He wants to finally meet you. He's a really good guy. Betting you'll like him, he'd be a good friend for you."

Levi normally sidestepped any use of the word 'friend' after what had happened with the last set. It was too hard to think on how you didn't have any movie buddies anymore. The lose was too much to even talk about still. The use of the word friend meant something here. 

"So, to be blunt, you were fucking him before we met but stopped after and now you want to make him watch over me while you are stuck at work, right?"

Levi was quiet a long moment. "I said don't be a brat about this." His voice gave away he was worried you were really not alright with any of this.

"I don't need a babysitter Levi. Your having had sex with him isn't an issue unless you are still having sex with him behind my back."

"Tch, Why add that 'behind your back' part? Wouldn't it just be the 'having sex with him' part?" Levi was starting to get overly pragmatic or maybe you had started it. Now the only solution was to be totally serious in your answer.

"No, it would be the deceit part. I'm not a guy, I'm definitely not a beast of guy like Mike. I remember your saying you are bi. I'd understand if he had something on offer I could never give. I get jealous easy but not unreasonably. I don't want secrets like that between us, though. It would hurt me to have you feel you had to hide a need from me, to not trust me with who is in our bed. That Mike's someone you enjoyed having sex with in ways I can't isn't an issue. If that makes sense?"

"You would be pissed I was fucking Mike because... I didn't... tell you? I am not even sure how to react to this right now. I'm telling him to come over and stay to have dinner with you, fates willing, with me as well. Move the bedroom around. Hopefully make a new friend."

"Don't you dare think that is me saying you can sleep around, Levi Ackerman."

"Tch, I'd never. You mean everything to me, brat. I just think this means I was worried about introducing you to him for nothing."

"I'd have trouble if he was a she. A woman I'd feel like I was competing with, I guess? Hard to put into words why it feels different to me, but it does."

"You don't have to name it, just knowing where we stand works. If he bugs you for some reason text me, call me, I'll talk to him. Get him to knock it off or leave. You are what matters here. Just don't try to move things until he gets there to help. Don't need you hurting your back."

"Worrier. Text me a time to expect him. I'm getting in the shower."

"Got it. See you soon sweetheart."

"See you soon Levi." You put the phone down and got ready to climb in the shower.

It was strange but you knew that the second you undid the warm leather band from your wrist that the Voice would be back chanting in your head. You had your new clothes set out on the bed easily accessible from the master bath. The short time it would take to get clean was not long enough to drown in whatever contempt that alien part of you might try and stir up. You even anticipated it would be some insecurity in Levi having been with Mike, replacing you with Mike.

The day you had met Mike was still fresh in your mind. You could remember how handsome he was even if at the time you had been a little more preoccupied by a certain ravenette. Knowing now that the two knew each other so closely made the confrontation even more adorable. It also made you wonder if it was that early on that Levi decided he wanted to pursue you. He had felt he needed to take up arms for you after all. You had seen the manager around from time to time after that, but never spoke to him really. Just passing smiles. 

Totally naked you started washing in haste. Any second you might start floundering in your security in Levi caring for you more than Mike. As you were shampooing your hair you had a totally unexpected whisper in you head. The Voice had seen where you were the most vulnerable and struck as the poison it was.

'Mike can't possibly want to be friends with you. He is only doing this for Levi. Now you are just a burden to them both.’

And just like that you were feeling sick, your gut full of broken ice even in the toasty hot shower. You wanted to call Levi back and have him tell Mike not to trouble himself. You had expected something and this had been just beyond any of the pains you had braced for. Washing the last of the suds from your now spotless body you toweled off and put back on the leather bracelet. The shower had been quick enough the band was still warm as it settled into its place on your wrist.

That was all you needed to chase the sickness away. The cold knot in your gut thawed and a bubbly excitement at meeting a guy that was one of the fleeting few friends of Levi replaced it. It was like tv magic. 

Checking your phone you saw that Levi had said Mike was already on his way. Then in another text, less than minute later, that he had a key and that he was already in the house making you breakfast. Right, no time to back out or run away. More likely a manipulation by Levi than haste from Mike, you would even bet.

Exiting the bedroom you could smell bacon cooking and coffee brewing. You entered the kitchen to greet the new comer only to have your voice catch. He was just that stunning. 

Mike was standing in the kitchen doing nothing exceptional. He was simply in a forest green tee-shirt and some stonewashed, faded to nearly white, tight fitting jeans. The part that really caught you was he had on a belt just like Levi's. A belt that looked like it would perfectly match the leather accent currently on your wrist. The shaggy bangs blocking your view of his eyes at entry prevented your noticing his surprised reaction as well.

"Should have guessed it was a gift for you. Does it fit alright? Levi didn't seem too have his normal over confidence with the size he wanted." Mike turned to the stove to hide his expression.

"Yeah, fits great. You... got it for him?" Mike was obviously trying to keep from staring at you by intently focusing on the cooking bacon.

"Ha! That damn midget didn't tell you? That wrist band is hand crafted by yours truly to the exact specifications he gave me. I'd made a few belts for him and he wanted something 'as a gift' and I should have known it would be for you. Could have covertly measured your wrist myself if I'd just thought a bit more about it. Not like I haven't seen you most Wednesdays." You could hear a good natured ribbing for Levi's excessive secrecy in the comment.

Maybe it was because you knew both of you had an intimate knowledge of the same man. Maybe it was his casual mentioning of seeing you nearly every Wednesday. Maybe it was a need to feel connected to him to chase away the lingering echo of the Voice. Regardless of why, you hugged Mike tightly around the waist from behind. Burying your face in his back you held the man much tighter than was appropriate for someone you were just properly meeting. Seeming to understand Mike twisted in your hold to wrap you in his arms, one hand even stroking your damp hair.

“Wanna tell me about it little bird? Levi warned me you might be having a rough morning. Don't think you have to tell me anything, or everything, but know you CAN tell me anything, even everything. I feel like I already know you, he talks about you so much. Not privet stuff mind you, he isn't blabbing your secrets to me. Just stories of affection.” Soft caring circles were being rubbed into the nap of your neck as Mike continued.

“He had gotten pretty distant there for a while. When he started bringing you with him. I wasn't sure I was going to get to see him outside of those store visits anymore.  Not to sound excessively pining or something. I just hoped to have him as a friend down the road. He is a good guy, abrasive as they come, but a good guy."

It was hard to keep from trying to burrow into the comfy body enveloping you. You had a moment to wonder if Levi would be jealous of you having Mike play the roll of teddy bear. The behemoth of a guy was all toned muscle and the hold of his arms was cathartic. It was like a magic kind of hug that just made you feel better.

It was different than when Levi did it. Levi was an exceptional security and made you feel like nothing could ever reach you to harm you. You were safe in ways even Mike's hug couldn't vie with. Still, being in bed snuggled between the pair of them brought on a wistful image of what true safety might feel like. Who needed a wall at their back if they could have Mike?

As if on cue Levi texted you to remind you that he intended to have the three of you enjoying dinner that evening. Mike pulled his own device from his pocket and chuffed. He eyed you with a bit of scrutiny, then tapped out a response to his message. Moments later you had a buzz of your phone alert you to a new message.

-Mike thinks you should invite him after you move stuff. Seems to think you and he need to sort out if you are really ok with each other. I’m not home until 7 so take your time. Late dinner, alright?-

You smiled as you answered Levi. You peaked up and turned your phone out in silent offer to Mike as you typed, he moved to read over your shoulder.

-Maybe pick something up on your way home? Just assume it will be the three of us?-

Mike wrapped an arm across the front of your shoulders pulling you back into a half hug, resting his chin on the top of your head. He let out a soft sigh and you could feel a tension ease from the solid form at your back. 

“Let’s eat, then get that stuff moved. No point in letting breakfast go cold.” Mike was pressing his lips to your hair as he spoke. You knew Mike wasn’t trying to be too forward as much as picking up on how you needed the connection right now. 

“Mmhm.” Your agreement was followed by your slight leaning into Mike, hiding the light blush you had from his being so nice to you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are always loved and welcome. More over, THANK YOU so much for reading my little story! 
> 
> Chapter two was heavy and dark and I knew it when I wrote it. Sorry my loves. Hopefully this less fluffy but still a love story will still be enjoyable. <3


	4. In Your Darkest Room

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yandere Levi, flirty Mike, and fluff warning.

Levi did pick up food for the three of you and it was a feast. All the entrees were amazing and the sides were filling. Levi had plated up portions for all of you and cut the needed components with knives that you still couldn’t figure the placement of. Mike helped keep you distracted while Levi was prepping dinner to limit your figuring out cutlery locations as well. The two of them were definitely in cahoots.

After a meal filled with drink and merriment the three of you went to the couch to watch a movie that was brought up in conversation that you all wanted to see. More drinking and dessert followed by a second movie had the night extending into the late hours.

Mike yawned and stretched one arm while the other remained over your shoulders, knuckles rubbing softly along the top of Levi's arm that was wrapped around your waist. Returning his hand to rest lightly on your knee Mike settled a little more. Snuggled between them you felt the safest you had felt since being taken. You wondered if the night might find a way to not end, could be so kind as to maybe never end.

"You've been drinking. You mind staying the night instead of driving?" Levi was flipping through movie options even though you knew it was time for him to get to bed. He was trying to keep the night going as well.

"You know I'm too tall to sleep on this couch Lee, and you don't have a guest room. I'm not drunk. But if you're that worried I'll call a cab. We have all been drinking. Even you shouldn’t be driving right now. Didn’t you say the (F/N) doesn’t even have a license?” Despite his words about leaving, Mike had tightened his hand on your knee, small circles traced with his thumb. He settled a little more into you as he leaned over to bicker with Levi.

"What about you, brat? You drunk?" Levi took you by the chin so you had only the option of looking at him. He was looking at you with such intensity it was like he was looking into you. 

"I had a bit of a buzz earlier but I am basically sober now. I don't like the idea of you leaving either Mike.” You could see a sort of ambivalence in Levi’s expression as he locked gaze with you. After a slow blink he nodded once.

“You'd fit in the bed though, right? It's big enough for the three of us." Levi looked at you to gage you reaction to his invitation. Your eyes were a little wide, you weren’t sure where Levi meant to go with this. It was true that the only place Mike would fit was the bed.

A soft rub on your leg had you looking into the blue green eyes of the taller man. His head was tilted slightly as he watched your eyes. After a soft huff and shake of head to get his bangs out of his eyes, Mike nodded. 

“I can stay Levi, but I know how you get so don’t make any assumption on my motives.” Mike was obviously not wanting to insert himself into your couple. You weren’t looking for sex tonight anyways, just security. The safety you felt with them was something beyond anything you’d felt before.

The pair moved in tandem to stand, Levi pulling you up and Mike stabilizing you with a hand at the small of your back. As the pair started to get ready for bed you were only half surprised to find Mike had clothes already in the drawers to change into. Mike left to use the hall bathroom while Levi shared the master bath with you. 

“I’m not asking him to stay to get us to sleep with him. Well, I intend to sleep and for you to sleep, all of us to sleep, in the bed, fuck…” Levi made a small gesture with his hands as he tried to find the right words. “…No! I don’t mean we’d fuck, I just-“

You took pity on his attempts to find what he was trying to express and tried to see if you didn’t already understand. “You want the three of us in bed, sleeping, safe and sound. No hanky-panky. Just security. Mike was saying as much too. I like the idea of us all just being together, no sex needed.” Levi nodded, grateful for your interruption.

You weren’t sure what this said about the future but you weren’t big on planning. Mike and Levi had not been taking on other lovers when they were together, Levi had said. When you first entered the picture Levi had cut Mike out completely. This was a pretty solid sign that Mike was being invited to bed, not anyone’s pants. 

Mike was sitting on the bed when you and Levi exited the bathroom. As the three of you climbed into the newly moved bed Mike took up the space by the wall while you took the middle, being held tightly by Levi. The soft breathing of the men around you was like music but you could still hear that Levi had turned on a playlist while you weren’t looking. The soft purely instrumental music playing complemented the mood perfectly. As the tune blended with the flutter of breathing you drifted off happily to sleep. 

 

**

 

Levi looked at the grey sky with it’s threat of rain and waited. Not long now until he would have the other half of the argument present and yelling. He was on the beach watching the waves crash onto the shore thinking on how to explain himself. He was only acting out of love. He wanted them to be together forever. Life was too short to just expect that to be even close to long enough. The sky started to fall and Levi had to give up on waiting on the shoreline and return to the home they shared.

Levi entered the bedroom and forgot how to breathe. There was blood everywhere. Erwin was laying on the bed, eyes unblinking as they looked to a heaven he would never reach. Levi had broken the heart of the love of his life and this was how it looked. Red and ruined, with important parts missing. The book on the bed by where Erwin’s right hand should have been was now an unreadable mess of gore.

“Where the fuck is your arm, idiot? What… Why did you do… Couldn’t you have waited until I got home? Given me a chance to explain? Damnit all, I was just trying to give you forever like I promised. Why did you have to go on ahead of me like this?” Levi had started crying without realizing it.

“Lee, wake up, you’re having a nightmare.” The calm whisper of the living man in his bed pulled Levi back to reality. Struggling only an instant with the old darkness riled up with the vivid memory, Levi calmed his breathing. Levi focused on (F/N) and sighed in relief at her peacefully slumbering face. She was here, she was whole, she was still his.

“Erwin again?” Mike whispered as he wiped away some of the trailing tears from the smaller man’s cheeks.

“Yeah. Don’t normally dream about him with her around. This is the first time in fact. Haven’t told her about that. Any part of that. Fuck Mike, what if she hates me after?” Levi was hollow sounding despite the emotions trapped in his words, his expression vacant of any emotion. Mike looked over the sleeping woman in question to the unreadable eyes of his closest friend. Lies weren’t something used in times like this.

“Then let her go.” Levi looked to Mike, startled by the comment. “You let her go because you can’t be that person anymore. You weren’t happy, not like you are now. Give her time to see all of you. Bring her slowly into our world.” Levi looked at her sleeping face and knew he couldn’t let her go, even if Mike was right that he should.

“Fucking Eren sped up the process. Plus that fucking Voice trying to take her from me.” Levi rested a gaze that was ever so slightly unhinged on her. He slowly reached one hand up to touch her. “Mike, why couldn’t I have just had a year? One fucking year to get her ready for this shit. I’m not asking for a lot.” Levi wrapped one hand loosely over her neck. With his thumb he traced the line where her silk soft skin met her jaw, feeling her steady pulse under his palm. Levi sweetly caressed the woman he loved more than he ever thought he could love again. He couldn’t lose her like Erwin. He had his other arm clutching a fist full of shirt at her back, holding on tightly. She was his, she even knew it.

“Don’t think like that Lee. It isn’t like that for us. She seems to really trust you. If that holds through this, until we can get that harlot to shut up and leave her alone. Maybe there is hope for her. If nothing else you want to save her right?” Mike watched as the softer parts of Levi slid away until there was only the empty mask he used to hide the darkest parts of himself. Any attempt to subdue his past self was lost, he only saw the woman he loved painted in blood. If it was destined to be that she fell, it would be him that controlled it. He pulled her closer to his chest, his arm circling her ribcage tightly.

Levi let his hold tighten around her vulnerable body, threatening to stop her ability to take in air. “She is only mine. The Voice can’t have her. You can’t have her. Only. Mine.” Levi let his arms squeeze more on the soft form he was wrapped around. When she opened her eyes there was no fear in them. Looking into Levi’s empty face she should have been afraid of him but all he saw was love. Trust. Levi released his hold and smashed his lips to hers. Growling into her mouth Levi spoke for her what he had told Mike. “You are mine.”

“Only ever yours.” She answered into his lips. Half asleep still she seemed to not totally comprehend the threat in his actions.

“Sorry I woke you, pet. I had a nightmare. I…  wasn’t-“ He struggled to regain control, to try to not act in haste out of fear. He was used to fighting and this war had only just started. The Voice would lose and Mike wasn’t actually trying to take her. Levi would keep her, forever.

She started to hush him and placed her finger to his lips. “Shh. I’m really here. I’m back. We should sleep. You have work much too soon.” She sounded so groggy that Levi wondered if it even fully registered how close he was to going too far. 

Levi nestled into her a little more, his arms hugging once again around her a little tighter than comfortable for just a moment longer than he intended. He hated that he was letting the inky dark speak up. Closing his eyes he tried to ignore the all so familiar ancient hum of his heart. 

‘Mine. The Voice won’t have her. She is mine. Mine to take as I like. Mine to collect when ever I like. Crushing her would be so easy…’ He didn’t even bother to argue with the darkness. He only let sleep pull him back under, holding his girl securely in his arms.

 

**

 

When you woke to the sound of Levi getting ready for work, you felt Mike playing with the metal loop at your wrist. The pair was up and while Levi could probably tell you were now awake, Mike seemed to have missed it. Levi could always seem to tell when you were awake.

"You worried I’ll do anything with her while you're at work? Don't want you feeling like I’m gonna snatch her away.”

"You know she is mine, that I belong with her. It's not an issue as long as you don't try and change that. Even then, its you that will end up without." The warning glare that Levi gave him was lost to you with your eyes still shut in mock sleep.

"Don't worry about that. I enjoy your company, and she is very fun, but you know I'm looking for a guy that will do for me what you do for her, be for me what she is for you. All the same, I think I'm making her a few more bands. I like seeing her in my work. Guessing I should make the matching ones belts for you? Or would you like a few wrist bands?” You could feel their eyes on you even if you had yet to even peak through one eye.

“Look at my little pet. Like a precious doll made just for me….” You felt a hand ghost over your cheek, Levi’s thumb brush along your lips. “Shit, belts or bands? Depends on how they look. You can tell our dynamic isn't gonna be switching very much. Oh but giving us some things for that occasion might be nice. Let my little one rule me every now and again. Could be fun to change up the pace with that." There was a rich purr to Levi’s words as he imagined what he could let you do.

"I'll keep that in mind." Mike had a tone that held the smiling happiness for his companion's obvious contentment. "Damn Lee, look at her neck. She really enjoys you doing that?" Mike ran his finger delicately in a wide circle around the newest bite mark left by Levi. You had mixed feelings about the concern and slight chiding you heard in his tone. It was nice Mike was being protective of you, but you didn't want him scolding Levi about something you enjoyed so much.

"Ask her once I leave. If she doesn't, let me know. I don't do it to harm her." Levi had confidence in his being right about your wanting the marks ringing in his tone. A dull ache reminded you of his waking you with his tightening hug. He had just woken from a nightmare he said, he was just out of it. This was not the first time you had woken to his clinging to you after such a dream. Levi had probably only been hanging on too tightly out of fear of losing you. It had been bruising tight but he must not have realized it was in danger of cutting off your air. He was so strong that it might not always register that he could really hurt you if he were careless.

"That looks pretty painful to me. How can you not call that harming her?" Mike almost sounded sad for you. At first Levi only gave a dismissive click of tongue as response.

“Don't mistake every pain for harm. Some hurts help heal the soul. If I am causing harm I'll tone it down though." There was smugness in his tone. You were sure the look he was giving you held all his certainty in your feelings about being marked by him.

"Don't you fucking dare." You didn't like eavesdropping on them, even if it was obvious to one of them that you were. You opened your eyes to see Levi's expression exactly as you expected. He held your gaze while sporting his victorious smirk.

"You genuinely enjoy his doing that to you?" Mike was asking with a good deal more surprise than you thought necessary. Even with Mike addressing you directly you couldn’t look away from Levi.

"I love seeing him along my skin. I am happiest being reminded of him in every subtle ache of these marks." Levi leaned down, his own passion answering your words. The kiss was heavy and dripping in need. You wished there was a way to answer that want but time and company prevented it.

"See. You'll have to wait until I leave to get a different answer. If nothing else she enjoys how worked up hearing her say that shit gets me."

"Just a pity I don't get to keep you to enjoy it." You let Levi see all your want of him. He was so much to you. He had told you he had fallen in love with you and you had confessed you had done the same with him. Still you both shied away from saying the words out loud. You were sure of your feelings but the condition of your mind with a breakdown manifesting in an outsider’s Voice made you hesitant to restate your words lest doubts get cast on their validity.

As seemed to be happening more and more lately, Levi was on the same page. "I love you so much (F/N). You are everything to me. Sorry I can't stay. Mike, keep my girl a safe, hm?" Levi nipped your bottom lip before dashing for the door. Levi paused, his back to the pair of you, hand on the doorknob. "Every time I have to leave you, my day goes to shit. You mind putting in an effort to text me today, Sweetheart?"

"Of course Levi. I always enjoy making your day a little less crappy. I get the impression Eld appreciates it too."

"Don't forget your promise either. I don't care if it seems like Mike is helping, you call me. Got it?"

"Got it. I'll keep my promise Levi."

Which you did. When you had finally rallied for the day the Voice seemed to rise with you. Despite Mike being right there giving you a warm and compassionate hug, the Voice had echoed through your head. Mike handed you his phone, as it was closer, to call Levi. The tall man didn’t seem to question any aspect of the system your boyfriend had put in place. When a set of clothing was sourced Mike did inquire from Levi if he could contribute yesterdays shirt to you. Levi agreed to the oversized garment being slid over your freshly washed form and the addition of Levi’s sweatpants was all the armor you needed for victory in your latest battle with the Voice.

Eventually Mike had to leave for work and his parting was surprisingly anxiety provoking. When he saw how nervous you seemed to be getting at his leaving he brought you out to his car and pulled out a large forest green hoodie that matched the shirt you currently wore. Helping you into the garment you calmed quickly. You could smell the rich earthy musk that was Mike snuggling around you like a blanket. 

“I’ll be back around soon, little bird. You keep those until I bring different ones. Unless Levi gets… jealous. Then you should just give them to him. Don’t want this making anything difficult between you.” Mike hugged you gently, seeming aware of the slight bruising to your sides. It hadn’t felt so bad at the time but it had left quite a mark. Something else registered as he looked down at you, a concern in his eyes. This was the second time Mike had said something that made you wonder if he expected Levi to be worried about his stealing you away. 

“You make it sound like Levi isn’t aware of you being here. He said he trusts you to not try and mess up our relationship. What has you all weird?”  Mike just looked at you with an expression you could only call pity. What in the world did he pity? “Really what's with you?”

“You really don’t see how much he…” Mike seemed to pick one word but changed it just before speaking. “…Needs you? Do you? It would destroy him to lose you again. I am not sure any of us could endure what he would rain down if that happened. I am glad you two love each other, seriously. All of this has just been hard on him. I just hope that he isn’t being forced into going too fast with you.” 

Some part of what Mike said made you worry as you had at first when Levi invited you to move in. He had wanted to go slow with you. He had wanted to take his time and had tried to keep all of his coworkers away from you. Now he had moved you into his home and was showing no sign of slowing down. A part of you wondered if that wasn’t a part of what he hoped Mike would do, slow everything down again. If there was a third person in the bed, Levi would have to slow down with you. Your brows furrowed as you tried to find a solution to the fear that was swallowing you boyfriend whole.

“Sorry little bird. I didn’t mean to make you worried about whats going on with him. I just know the guy is possessive. I know how he gets and I just want to be a help not a hinderance. That goes for you too. You are not obligated to me. Seriously. I am a little worried Levi would kill me if he thought I was interfering.” You laughed softly at the joke but when Mike did not join in, you really examined his expression. He was not making a joke. 

A part of your mind was angry at him for making statement like that about the man going to so much trouble for you. This same part wanted to slap Mike for even suggesting Levi would do something like that. The other side of you had seen exactly what Mike was afraid of. You had seen the violence just below the surface in the office. You had witnessed the way Levi had wanted to punish the one that had taken you, his hesitation in freeing you so that he could exact revenge on your behalf. This other side of you wondered were Eren was.

Why hadn’t the police found any sign of him? You had been brought up to date with certain aspects of the investigation for your safety. This included that Eren was the soul suspect believed to be responsible for the abduction and murder of several dozen people. His whereabouts were currently unknown and there was concern he might try and make contact with you, potentially even try to abduct you again. It was heavily implied that some evidence gave light to Eren having a very unhealthy attraction to you.

The detective’s rude interrogation at the end of your interview had sort of been your fault. The detective had suspected you knew your captor was Eren when you didn’t say who Levi was attacking. Your uncertainty in the events and vagueness of facts in hopes of not giving false information had led to you falsely incriminating yourself. It had since been confirmed that from your angle, bound to the support, you never saw your captor even as Levi was assaulting him.

Mike was right to be worried about a person like Levi getting angry with him. You just couldn’t seem to get these two sides to balance out though. Levi was trying to be a good person. He was trying to get his temper under control. He was doing everything in his power to be good for you. He was not like Eren, giving in to his dark thoughts.

 _‘Just like Levi.’_ The words from your nightmare came back to you like a punch to the gut. Had you always known Eren was so broken? Had you really suspected Eren was the monster that took you all along? Had you always feared that Levi was capable of so much worse? 

You had fallen away into you head and Mike stood watching with a sorrow he would hopefully never need to explain to you. Mike knew how this would go for you if you ever tried to leave Levi. It was one thing if Levi let you go, it was another entirely if you tried to get away. There had been a time where Levi would probably have been able to let you go, but that was a long missed opportunity now. As it was Mike could only hope you would stay once Levi told you everything. He liked you after all. 

“Little bird? You alright there? Damnit I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that, either. Don’t worry about the three of us or any of that. Levi is a good guy, who loves you. You just worry about getting free of that Voice. You worry about taking care of you. I have Levi’s back. And yours.” Mike touched the bite mark on your neck and silently wished he could have your back against all potential threats. This was something he knew he could not do, much as he hated to admit it. Levi was better than him. He would never be able to protect you against that one threat should it ever become necessary. Mike leaned in and gave an affectionate kiss to the top of your head. 

“Do me a favor and call Levi? You seem sort of lost and I don’t know what I can do to bring you back.” Mike turned your chin up forcing your eyes to meet his. You focused on him, coming up from the depths of your thoughts. 

“It’s alright Mike, really. I guess I just wasn’t really letting myself see the big picture. You don’t think that Levi really killed-“ Mike interrupted you with a barking laugh. 

“I can say with a great deal of certainty that Levi did not kill the guy that took you. I am betting he tries not to talk about it with you but to me he vents pretty often. Levi is still cussing out that kid like he must be alive and running for his life. Levi might be an ace at trickery but he wouldn’t waste his time cursing the dead to me.” You nodded at the extreme certainty Mike had in Levi not having done something truly awful. 

“I am going to be late if I don’t leave soon. You go inside. Call Levi if you need to. Don’t worry about telling on me or something silly like that. That pigmy won’t start anything over this.” Mike smiled knowing you did not need to know how frustrated Levi was at his missed opportunity to kill Eren. He had no intention of telling you how often Levi voiced his worry about Eren coming back and taking you again. Mike also did not want to have to be the one to explain to you why both of them were more worried about the Voice. He hoped it would be Levi that had to explain that one if it came up.

You nodded softly, unsure if you should call Levi or not. You stepped in to give Mike a hug only to have him wrap one arm around your waist and the other other catching under your hips, picking you up like it was nothing. He held you like this so he could stand and hold you closely, his forehead resting on yours. “Stop worrying little bird. We have you.”

As Mike set you down gently. You smiled with your blushing cheeks burning a little too much for the innocence Mike meant for the gesture to have. You finally felt safe in letting him leave and waved after as Mike raced off to work. You hoped Mike was right about not needing to worry, but you still figured it was a good idea to text Levi. You had been through out the day but after Mike having the same concerns as you it seemed you should go on the offensive. 

Looking at your phone you saw Levi had beat you to the punch.

-Mike leave for work yet? You doing alright? You can always call if you are having trouble-

That was your caring Levi. 

-He just left. He lent me his hoodie since I was kind of panicking. You thinking he is gonna be around a lot?-

You didn’t have to wait long for the answer you expected.

-I was hoping he could hang around when he could, if I was at work-

You had suspected that Levi was hoping to have Mike watch over you for the foreseeable future but it was nice that he wasn’t trying to hide it now. 

-Ok. If it will help you worry less while you are at work Mike can come over when ever. Just remember that I am only your girlfriend though. I’m not after Mike.-

The new normal would involve Mike being in the home that you shared with Levi. No part of this bothered you but there were still little things to worry about. Undue jealousy might be a real concern but the three of you seemed more than willing to talk about it. This could work. This could be the new normal, at least for a little while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise this will not be a Levi/Reader/Mike. That would go ever so badly for Mike. 
> 
> Chapter's name sake song:
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SVvK9FKLn78


	5. Reaching

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter will no doubt be better if you have finished I'll Always Find You. I know that I sometimes will just jump into a story so I am hoping this will still work for those folks. Still, this is better in context. 
> 
> Huh, and it looks like this is one of my longer chapters. Heads up.

You were drowning. Freezing water was falling down your throat, filling your lungs. You wanted to cough but couldn’t get the air to force the obstruction out. You were so cold, it was like you had fallen into the ocean. The Voice was laughing, taunting you, in your own sing song voice. 

‘Freedom from the pain. Freedom from harming the one I love so much. These broken wings can take me no further. Let these salty waves drown me!’

You struggled to reach up, get to the surface, but you couldn’t tell where up was. You were so disoriented you couldn’t tell what was sinking and what was floating. You reached out again and had a breath of clarity hit your mind.

‘ _Levi!_ ’ You reached out for him, knowing deep down you couldn’t be in the ocean, couldn’t be drowning. This was a nightmare and Levi was near by, maybe even asleep next to you. You reached out as far as your arm would stretch. You felt the soft glow of warmth that meant safety, meant Levi. You grabbed for it, willing it to take you to Levi, to wake you up.

‘ _(F/N)? What… How? Pet, are you alright?_ ’ It was like the Voice only it felt warm and safe and so far away from the cold depths you had been drowning in. You blinked and found you could breathe, floating safely on the surface of a pool in a cave. A warm current at your back helped keep you buoyant. 

‘ _Help Levi! The Voice, it is trying to drown me in the ocean. I don’t know how, but I feel like it really could._ ’ The thought was not like speaking aloud in the cave, this was a silent conversation only the two of you could hear, the Voice was not able.

 _‘That_ _FUCKER!_ ’ The waters felt boiling hot for a second. It felt like Levi’s voice was echoing through you as it would in the cavern. ‘ _Shit, sorry Love. Didn’t hurt you, did I? I’ll get you free, try to stay here if you can, alright?_ ’ The cave felt empty of Levi now, like he wasn’t there as he had been a moment ago. 

The warm waters had cold currents seeping up and caressing your back. As the frigid waters started to take over the warm ripples around you, the water level also started to rise. The Voice’s laugh once again started to echo in your bones. A sudden surge of ice water made you gasp just as the riptide pulled you back under. You were sputtering and flailing around trying to get away, get back to the safe cavern. 

Warm arms wrapped around you and a crushing sort of hug stopped you from being able to struggle any more.

“(F/N), wake up. You are having a nightmare. Open your eyes little bird. Lee called me, said you weren’t answering his ringing you. He got worried and asked me to check on you. You were struggling, all tangled up in the covers. Can you understand me?” Mike was able to hold you still with no effort.

“Mike, I was drowning.” You were trembling only a little, the lingering cold fading under Mike’s broad form’s warmth. Your gut even felt like it was full of icy sea water. The act of breathing was painful, abdomen muscles sore in a similar way to having been coughing for too long. Mike just nodded and let you settle back into the bedding. He tilted your face up so he could see you eyes clearly and nodded as if verifying something. 

“Lee insisted I have you call him immediately. I am gonna start some coffee for you, alright?”

“Yeah, thank you Mike. I… wait! Aren’t you supposed to be working this morning?! I can-“

“Nope. You are not going to shoo me away. Call Levi. I’m making us food.”

“But-“ You started again only to have Mike stop you with a finger lifted. Mike looked at his cell and gave a shake of head. With a sigh Mike answered the phone.

“Hey Lee. Yeah she was just about to- Sorry, she, I… just got here. Hm? … Yeah, yeah, I know. I KNOW. … Eh, don- … Lee… Damnit Levi just let me hand the phone to her you obsessive hobbit!”

“Elf.” You corrected at the same time as Levi, not that you could hear him on the other end of the phone. Mike just stared at you slack jawed and handed you the phone. As you put it to your ear you could hear Levi in the middle of a rant that involved mostly vulgarities and references to Mike being too tall. 

“… which is why we need to stop fucking watering you, you shit-stupid sequoia-“

“Levi, I think Mike is more of a Redwood. They have the shaggy bark.” Mike just shook his head and raised his hands as he gave up against the pair of you and your preferred way of busting his chops. The truth was he was jealous of how well the two of you played off each other. Levi was a close friend to Mike but the connection wasn’t as fluid. Mike could only hope he would get a chance to have someone like that in his life. 

“Good morning my love. You alright? You weren’t answering your phone and I got worried. Sorry if I panicked over nothing.”

“No, it was a good thing Mike came by. I was having this horrible nightmare. It was really awful. I think I must have actually been coughing because I hurt all over. I know it’s impossible but I even feel like I swallowed a bunch of salt water. Ice cold salt water.” Even breathing made you aware of the raw feeling in your throat.

Mike had stopped just outside the door to listen. His fists clenched as he concluded that he would need to hurry up and make some other gifts for Levi to give you. The way those things could connect you to him was obvious to Mike. He went to the kitchen and started up the coffee and inventoried the fridge while waiting for you to finish with Levi and get in the shower.

Hazily you staggered into the master bath, listening to the silence that was on the line. You had Mike’s phone dancing from hand to hand to keep listening as you stripped out of the bed shirt that was Mike’s. Keeping the device pinned to your ear you were leaning into the phone like you were trying to hear the empty hum of the connection as you started the shower. Levi had yet to respond to the concern you had voiced over the vivid nightmare.

“Well that is bad. Way worse than I thought it would get. I am not gonna lie, this worries me pet. I need you to do something for me.”

“Anything Levi.” You didn’t like the way you could hear tension in his voice. 

“Let Mike drop you off here with me. I know it will be boring but I want you where I can see you, physically reach you.” His tone was meek but held a firmness that let you know he wasn’t going to budge on this. “ I know it seems like I’m letting myself get worked up but I just… I need to look after you. I hate that I wasn’t the one to wake you.”

The near month of having Mike helping Levi look after you had begun to make it being the three of you feel normal. Things with Mike felt so stable that sometimes you forgot how nervous Levi could still get about losing you. It was obvious in the way the three of you talked that Mike was not trying to get between you and Levi and Levi seemed to really appreciate it. You tapped the screen to change to speaker phone and started the shower. 

The change in audio told Levi what you had done. “Is Mike still there?” A quality to his tone made it clear he wanted Mike not in the room with you in the shower.

“He is in the kitchen making us breakfast. That man really is hell bent on keeping a person from starving.” 

“It’s his thing. Let me know once you are on your way here. Do me a favor and bring me some clothes?”

“Work clothes? Are you planning on me wearing-“

“Obviously. You wear this, I wear that, no one gets arrested for indecency.”

A knock on the door and a call from Mike stated that he had put out some clothing on the bed for you and that he was retreating to the kitchen. “Thanks Mike.” 

 

**

 

Mike knew he did not have long until she would exit the shower. He looked to the bed and its damp sheets and gave a huff. “Bishop, it is wet there, why are you laying there?” 

Mike picked up the odd eyed cat and tucked him under one arm. The animal gave only the weakest mew in a vocal protest, a noise much too small to come from such a fluffy cat. As Mike went to now remove the sheets he could only glare at Seifer and his delicate poking of the wet spot on the newly vacated bed. With the second cat under his other arm, no protest given aside from the cat increasing his weight to some impossible level, Mike tried once more to remove the bedding. 

“Merrow?” Chartreuse eyes in a coal furred face looked at him intently.

Mike grimaced as the third cat gave greeting before jumping on the bed. “Damnit Robbin. Hand to cats ratio. Right. I get it now.” 

Mike emptied his arms of the two and quickly herded the last from the room. This might go badly for the buttered toast he abandoned on the counter but Mike had to make priorities. He quickly stripped off the dampened by salt water sheets of the bed and pillows. He used a towel to blot the mattress as best he could before adding new fresh sheets. If questioned he planned on saying that changing the sheets would help shake the nightmare, washing away the cold sweat lingerings being a form of therapy. He wished he had his phone to text Levi, warn him. As it was this was far worse than they had anticipated. The Voice knew where she was. This was a whole different level of bad.

 

**

 

You put on the clothing Mike had left out and only half noticed he had made the bed, Levi would appreciate that. Slinking out to the kitchen you saw the garment bags that no doubt held Levi’s requisite clothing. You entered the kitchen to see Mike holding an empty plate and looking to the cat at his feet with a deadpan that would have made Levi proud. Robbin was looking up longingly, a small mew was given in hopes of receiving something from the dish. At closer inspection you saw that the plate held crumbs of what looked like toast. Levi would never have left a dirty dish out so it was much more likely that the plate had been made empty recently. Most likely by one of the occupants of the kitchen. A small furry one. A small furry beggar, no less.

“So why did she take the toast, all the toast, and then come back like I would give her more?” Mike had a defeated sort of wonder in his tone.

You could only shake your head, deciding to treat the question as rhetorical. Your cats were not normally so bad. You could leave a plate of chicken unattended and still come back to it without issue. Levi had impressed you by simply saying no to Robbin once and the lot had left his plate alone since. It seemed Mike was not yet worthy of such curtesy, though. That or maybe Robbin felt she had found an easy mark. Regardless it spelt doom for the man should he leave food unprotected.

“I have a few slices more going. We should head out once they are done. Need help gathering anything? I grabbed Levi’s extra suit.” You were trying to think of what to bring to pass the time when it struck you that something was weird. You shook it off, the nightmare lingering was the best you could place for a cause.

 

 

Walking into the building with Mike felt like unnecessarily making him late. All the same the man insisted on walking you to Levi. Walking to the front desk the bright smile of Marco greeted you. The freckled young man was ready with two lanyards, one for each of you. You walked down the hall toward Levi’s office, a little uncertain of the way since you had only been there once before. Mike took pity on your not being tall enough to see over the six foot partitions of the cubicles. I small push up onto his toes and Mike could see the way you needed to go with ease. When the clearing for the stations that made up Levi’s department appeared you sighed in relief.

Eld was the first to see you. He stood up swiftly, distance closed in an instant and his arms were wrapped around you tightly. He had the same inviting smile you remembered. Gunther was right behind, kind greeting of offered handshake easily melting into a hug as well. Oluo was looking you over, his Levi-blank-face-mask slipping just enough to let you catch the peace of mind he gained from seeing you. A large man with broad shoulders and chiseled features was most likely the only remaining intern, Reiner. You had never met him before, but the look he gave told you he knew who you were and that your being safe mattered to him. The last set of eyes to find yours belonged to Petra.

Petra nearly ran up to you, tears already trailing her cheeks. The two of you had never gotten together for that lunch but you had exchanged a more than a few messages with her in the attempt of making it happen. You had been bonding over the one-sided mimicry and idiosyncrasies of your respective sweethearts. You held on to each other tightly. The two of you shared one unspoken truth that no one else there could: what it was to have been taken.

The act of Petra getting taken occurring right around the same time as Krista and Sasha had the police speculating that it had been the three of them together Eren had intended to do something with. Levi had warned you that the police were keeping the things that Eren crafted secret from the public so Petra had no clue what Eren would have done with them. You had some guesses though. You were glad Levi never asked what you saw behind that curtain, your explanation to Detective Dok being graphic enough to assuage curiosity.

You and Petra stayed clinging to one another, lost in the odd pleasantness from shared understanding of the unexplainable pain that had entered you lives. You were glad Petra was seeming to make it back to normal easier than you. She seemed a little more solid, even if she was the one openly crying. She had been held captive a shorter time, seen much less, but there was no part of what happened that was not world altering. You felt no one should call what she experienced less hurtful than your experience. At a point horrible was just horrible, tiers of how much so were irrelevant.

Through your tear misted eyes you saw Mike give the garment bags to the one that had insisted on your presence. Levi said nothing, simply waved off the others leaving you and Petra to wordlessly comfort each other. Mike gave you a lopsided smile and nod before leaving wordlessly. After what could have been hours or only moments, but was probably several minutes, Petra eased out of the hug.

“You still have my number? I still want to get that lunch.” You smiled a little wider as she lit up with your question.

“I do. I was really hoping we could too. I’ve… I would really love to just hang out some time.” Petra seemed a bit nervous over proposing going out. You could easily guess why. The tears that seemed to all too easily well up in both your eyes might make for some embarrassing interactions out in the world.

“You brats are welcome to use the house. I can even find someplace else to be to let you enjoy some girl time.” Levi had a sad sort of smile pulling at the corners of his mouth. Maybe Petra was not doing as well as she appeared. You could recognize Levi’s concern.

“That would be really perfect, Levi. Thanks for offering to give us the place to ourselves.” You tried to smile brightly but you also knew it was not reaching your eyes. The ping of panic at being ‘alone’ was sudden and unexpected.

You hated to admit it could impact you like this but you did not like the idea of neither Mike or Levi being around. The police had no leads on Eren’s location. You wanted it to just be paranoia. Some part of you wanted to find a way to believe that he had moved on for simple self preservation. The way everything felt though, you were just worried there was still another shoe to drop, as it were.

“Of course Brat. Let’s get you settled. I should really get back to work as quickly as possible.” Levi took your hand in his pulling you away from Petra. Only when you hesitated did he look back. You and Petra were looking at each other in an instant of shared panic. Levi saw the fear but his looking around revealed no cause. You were scared and he did not know how to fix it. Had he been better with words and been able to find the question it would not have mattered. You had no idea why you were so terrified to lose sight of Petra.

Oluo had kept an eye on the situation and went to wrap a protective arm over Petra’s shoulder. The small act of the petite woman being sheltered was what was needed to help you both let go of the fear. She seemed to visibly relax and had her arm snake around his waist. You gave a parting wave before finally being able to turn and follow Levi to his office. That nightmare had left a deep fear in you that seemed to surface with the tiniest prodding. 

Walking into Levi’s office you watched him draw the blinds and lock the door. He immediately started stripping off his suit, handing the coat and shirt to you to put on. The tailored pants would not fit you, your feminine curves needing more space than Levi’s narrow hips. Bringing a whole different suit for him was simply to make sure his wardrobe matched. You held the clothing in your hands but hesitated. Levi had needed to change in his office countless times after the havoc Hange brought to the building, but you had no interest in being recorded half naked in his office.

“Oi, the point of you bringing me clothes was for you to wear that.” Levi was looking at you with a slight concern. “You aren’t worried about me seeing you naked are you?”

“More like I don’t want security to see me nude. Aren’t there cameras?” You looked at the ceiling trying to locate the logical spot for a camera.

Levi gave a soft tut before answering. “After the first month of Shitty-glasses employment here, they stopped replacing the cameras. Too expensive. Only I am going to be seeing your lovely body.” Levi walked over and started to help undress you. 

After the weeks of Mike keeping intimacy between you and Levi mostly G rated, you were over aware of every grazed touch of Levi’s fingers on your skin. The sounds of the building carried through the closed door though, making you still feel a little more publicly exposed than you wanted to linger in. Levi seemed to notice the tension curled up in you because he just as quickly helped you into his shirt and jacket. With an assessing smirk, Levi gave a nod of approval. He really did seem to like seeing you in his clothes.

He gave you a soft peck on the lips before settling behind his desk. You knew he would be working hard even once you got here so you did not feel slighted by his jumping right into work. You left the office to get a cup of coffee for you and tea for him. The whole office seemed to be bustling with life. The low hum of conversation was a soothing sort of background. Returning with the beverages, you caught the soft acoustic sounds of some of the music you had been listening to as of late. Levi had started it playing through his department. You smiled to yourself over how much Levi tried for you. 

You took up residence in the chair opposite Levi at his desk, your own bag of pastimes opened. You started with the book you brought but after twenty minutes that lost it’s hold of your attention. You fidgeted around in your bag, occasionally catching Levi’s glancing at you. You mucked about with a few apps on your phone but that only killed another hour of the long day. 

Giving in to boredom you started inspecting the contents of Levi’s office. You looked at his desk and noticed a small turquoise beetle made of stone. You did not remember seeing it the first time you had visited the office. The detail to the craft was worn and looked more like a piece from a museum than a gift shop. You moved to touch the scarab of rock but stopped. Instead you tucked you hands in the pockets of Levi’s leant coat.

“You like Egyptian stuff too?” You grabbed for something to do, maybe fill in the time with words if not hobbies. It had been years since you really thought about your once safe haven of myths and legends. Levi simply hummed an affirmation, not feeding your want for conversation in the slightest.

“I don’t remember seeing a scarab on your desk before. Is it new?” You tried again to get some words out of the work focused man. You knew he was busy, work had to take priority, but you were bored and if you could just find some engagement you could maybe distract yourself by talking. You knew the end result would be more talking at him instead of with him, but it was better than nothing.

“It is obviously very old, brat. Do I need to source some crayons for you, to get you to let me work?” His slight irritation did not even reach you for the first time is a long time. Here in Levi’s office you felt more yourself than you had since the abduction. You were more aware of the wry smirk pulling at the corners of his lips than the scowl on his brow. 

“You buy it from a reputable source? A lot of those can be stolen from crypts. Bad luck stealing from the dead.” You were grasping at straws. Maybe crayons were a good idea. It felt a little juvenile but it was something else to do. That was until you caught that Levi had stopped typing. Levi looked up from his monitor and seemed genuinely nervous. Was the fearless powerhouse, Levi Ackerman, seriously afraid of mummy curses?

“You ever handle a real one?” Levi had a sort of hesitance in his words that hinted at a deeper relevance than you could decipher.

“No. I own a few replicas. I was big into Egyptian mythology when I was younger. It’s been a while, haven’t really thought about a lot of it in a long time.”

You rattled around a few of the names still in your mind. Anubis, Bastet being favorites that you thought of more often. Horus, falcon headed son of Ra, was a crowd favorite. Ra the sun god that was often depicted as a scarab being used in most every Egyptian replica ever. You had always felt a respect for the gods and goddesses of the no longer majorly practiced beliefs. Near as you knew it was a pretty niche theology if it was studied, let alone practiced, by anyone. This was no longer the once common religion that built pyramids and crafted mummies. The modern world did not have a place for beasts like Ahemait with his chimera qualities of both crocodile and hippopotamus being revered. Looking at the protective amulet on your boyfriend’s desk, the thoughts all felt familiar and a bit nostalgic.

“You can pick it up, if you like. Just handle it with care. I’ve had it... forever.” He was watching you now. The intensity of his focus was way out of proportion to the act of picking up an old rock fashioned into a bug. Could he really have an authentic ancient scarab?

You picked up the beautiful and light weight stone creature. It was strangely warm to the touch, Levi’s computer fan must have been warming it. Levi was watching with slight pride as you carefully inspected his treasure with wonder. At one point this carving must have been very ornate. Time had worn away much of the detail but it still had fine work done that lasted the unknown years of aging. The underside had some faded symbols etched in the base. You could recall there were many different things that would get carved there. Sometimes messages of protection, sometimes ownership. These were too distorted to be made out, but it might be a fun task to see if you could find a possible translation.

You looked into Levi’s eyes and realized he was lost in watching you. He had stopped working entirely. Upon meeting his eyes he started to worry his bottom lip between his teeth. He sighed, gathering his nerves, before asking what seemed a totally harmless question. 

“You used a god’s name on one of your playlists. Why that one? He is a bit obscure.” He was not looking at you, eyes now focused on his folded hands.

“Ophois? Hm. I guess he isn’t commonly covered in school. I was just really into the mythology when I was younger. It really just sort of resonated. He was one of the ones that I really liked. I even got to see a statue of him once, at a museum. Don’t think I’m some nutter that worships long forgotten deities, or something. I just felt comforted by thinking of him looking after me. Him or maybe Bastet since I’ve always been a cat person. I just felt safer thinking of it being him. Wepwawet, Ophois, he seemed...” You floundered your hands trying to mold the right word from the air. “Perfect?”

You looked at Levi hoping to see if he understood you. Instead you saw a sight that moved your heart, albeit triggered by reasons beyond you. He had a look of total awe, eyes blown wide with a dusting of pink on his cheeks. You heard him audibly swallow as he tried to get ready to speak but lost the words before they could exit. Leaving his mouth slightly open but silent.

You had no idea what you had said that had moved your sweetheart so deeply, so dramatically. You gently placed the scarab back on the desk. You wanted to ask him, discover what you had said that stirred such a reaction. What part of rambling about childhood fantasies of ancient Egyptian guardian angels could gain this reaction? Levi visibly shook himself and the moment was gone. The normal blank face was back, his eyes the only clue to what was going on behind the mask.

“Love, I want to get you a gift. It is just a bit... it would be a ring. Not a-“ Levi seemed to bite off the sentence before it finished. “It would be for your right hand. Ring finger. Something to wear all the time to help against the Voice. I had been talking with Mike about surprising you with it and he, I suspect wisely, warned you might think I meant something different with a ring box. Panic over it.” He was standing up as he spoke, adjusting the lines of his suit.

He walked to the door, closing it once again. He let the silence carry on. You heard the lock click before he came to stand between you and his desk. He rolled back on his heel, coming to rest with a slight leaning to the desk. He seemed to tower over your seated form. There was no question in what he was saying, more explanation than anything. He was looking at you like he was waiting for a protest though. You stayed quiet, hoping you looked as pleased as you felt over the idea of a jewelry gift.

“I want to have an engraving put on it, inside the band. I have been trying to find something meaningful. Something just for you. I wondered how you might feel about…“ Levi stopped again. You could not understand what had him so tangled up about this sudden topic change.

“Levi, if it’s from you, it will be unique and special to me. My fingers aren’t big enough for it to have a sonnet inscribed on it.” You tried to lighten his mood. He was over thinking the words he wanted to put on the gift. The simple truth was: if it was from him, it was perfect.

“‘Ophois watches over me’.” Levi said the words in a whisper, like to speak them too loudly could shatter them. You were struck by the buzz it sent down your spine. Those words. Those held a weight for you that seemed mirrored in the man less than a meter from you. He  seemed to understand just how important that name was to you, the security it stirred in you. You were speechless from the sentiment a gift like that would hold. You could only give an awkward nod, a little jerky, like the joints of your neck had rusted.

“Good. It will be a bit. Farlan still needs to secure the stones for me. You’ll love it, I promise.” He was speaking softer than usual, it was soothing, but still something was off. Something about this lacked the sweetness his words held, but what? His face was still a mask. His eyes held so many things you could not be sure of it, but there was a flash of darkness there. Under the happiness. Behind the love. You were sure you had glimpsed a flicker of something darker. Something that Levi was hiding. You pushed the thought away. Levi was commissioning a gift for you, a special one. This was a joyous occasion, not something to let paranoia taint.

Levi knelt down between your knees. His gripping the armrests of the chair had you trapped as he got closer. When his lips met yours, he was hesitant despite his being the one initiating the kiss. You were not sure what had him holding back. This did not seem like the way it should be going. ‘Why hesitate? Take what you want. What I am offering to give you.’ You almost said it. 

You pressed back into his all too delicate lips. You fanned the flame of the first kiss you got to have in private in what felt like forever. You decided to make it more than a chaste kiss. You were the one to part your lips. You were the one to ghost your tongue across his bottom lip. A nip to his lip and that did it. The control Levi had been using to be so soft, so controlled, crumbled.

Levi was suddenly more devouring you than kissing you. You felt his hands lifting you and twisting so that you were seated on the desk, his waist between your legs. He was definitely aroused and his hands were holding you so tightly. Your own lust was building as the tide seemed to catch you both. The notion of having sex in his office was not an entirely unpleasant one, now that you felt a little more comfortable. The soft music playing over the section’s speakers masked most of the sounds from the people on the floor. That was until you heard what sounded like a bartering ram collide with Levi’s door.

“Hey, Shorty? Your door is locked. You changing clothes AGAIN?!” The voice of Hange easily carried through the door.

Levi had closed his eyes, a pained sort of scowl gracing his features. He helped you silently off the desk and straightened your clothing before helping you back to your original seat. He said nothing but straightened his own close and leaned on the desk, waiting it seemed. He was looking at you, strangely. There was a glowing sort of joy, but it felt different than usual. You really tried to see what was there, what was in his eyes that was not normally there.

Possessive.

There was a look of possessiveness there that was new. You smiled softly at the realization that this had meant a lot to Levi. This ring was not just some doting gift from his side either. A gift like this would really mean something to you both. You also felt a slight hesitance over the look. Many parts of the current situation with him tested your sense of independence. Levi giving you such a special gift was wonderful but what if it only sped up the process you were both trying to slow down?

“Hello? Shorty? Door?” A knock followed this time. The moment and your fears collapsed with the polite rapping on the door. Levi walked briskly over and opened the door.

“Was it so hard to knock Shitty-glasses?” Levi had his normal blank mask in place for the confrontation. One would never suspect that an escalating make-out session was what had been interrupted and not diligent work.

The pair quickly fell into a conversation about work that you could hardly hope to follow. The only parts you could even really understand involved the disparagements from your boyfriend around the ‘safety protocols’ being mentioned. Well, that and the peppering of vulgarities, also falling primarily from your sweetheart’s mouth. What did this company even do? After all this time you still had no clue. The quick exchange had completely killed any interest you had in testing the office’s soundproofing as well. No sooner had Hange left than Levi was back at his computer, fingers deftly dancing across the keys. You pouted slightly at the complete mood change, boredom now being exacerbated by sexual frustration.

“What does Hange do here?” This topic might even let you discover what it was your boyfriend did for a living.

“Shitty-glasses is the department head of development and testing.” Levi did not even glance away from his screen, so he missed your scowl.

“What does that even mean?” You asked rhetorically. Levi could tell. He only smirked at your exasperation, work mode fully engaged. You knew he was enjoying the mystery around his job. You picked your book back up and started reading where you had left off. Reading being your plan for the rest of the day. Maybe you could ask Mike about Levi’s work the next time you saw him. He would tell you. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and constructive criticisms are always appreciated!  
> I am still really new at putting out stories so if things are too complex or confusing comments of such will help make me better as a writer. 
> 
> Thank you all so much for reading and your kudos and everything!
> 
> Also Ao3 was having a day when I uploaded this chapter so if anyone notices anything weird let me know. I managed to get it to properly display the new chapter count (it had stayed at 4 even after adding the 5th) but there might be other things I did not notice.


	6. What Luck Has To Do With It (NSFW)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was not intending to add smut to this but, well, here we are. NSFW chapter. 
> 
> I actually was half way through the chapter that will come after this when I realized I wanted to really show the gradual change was happening more than I had. I needed a chapter in-between and thank the Muse that a song came up on my new music radar. 
> 
> Normally I would put the links to the song used in the end notes but upon reading the lyrics out of context it is WAY darker than I intended. I don't want to change the song (it helped give life to this chapter) so I invite you to hear the song before Levi sings it.
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pGCDmsBZW4A  
> -The Lucky Ones by Logan Staats, recorded version
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JOL5_7BjJqA  
> -Live performance with interview

Levi glanced to the window from his position in front of the computer. He was two tracks in to making his girl a new playlist. The glow of the rising sun was changing the sky from a star filled back drop to a blue that reminded Levi of a certain set of eyes. He swallowed back the jagged sigh that wanted to escape him, making it instead rattle around painfully in his chest. He looked to the bathroom door, relaxing to the sound of a living person being awake in his immediate vicinity.

Mike was up and in the shower, readying for the day. Levi knew he could get Mike to help chase away the ghosts of his past over morning tea, no need to wake his fast asleep girl. Mike normally rose with the sun making it no bother for him to leave so early. He also had the day off but was kindly leaving to let the couple enjoy Levi’s first whole day off in nearly a month.

From a business perspective, Eren could not have picked a worse time to go super psycho. The missing people and lost time due to the aftermath had made multiple projects spiral out of control and need massive amounts of effort to realign to expectation. Levi had been near single handily bailing his department out of the fire. Levi thrived under pressure so this hardly upset him. What was really wearing him down was not being with (F/N) when she actually needed him.

He trusted Mike to keep her safe for the most part. That was cold comfort when so many threats remained elusively out of grasp. Levi doubted his stomping the little shit had been enough to deter Eren from his obsession. There was also the new development of the Voice knowing where they were. Levi had contemplated moving her to Mike or Farlan’s place but both were much too far away from the office. Also he had no idea how to explain the need for it. There was something wicked on the horizon. Levi could only fortify his home and his girl, and hope it was enough.

Mike stepped out of the master bath and looked first to be sure of the safety of the one slumbering. She was fast asleep still, burrowed deep in a nest of blankets. She slept quietly while her boyfriend continued to pick more songs to play for her. Levi had been at the desk when Mike woke. The man had not seemed to move the whole time Mike had been showering.

“Tea?” Mike whispered the words knowing Levi would easily hear. Levi only nodded, not looking away as he made an addition to the list currently playing.

Before getting up, Levi clicked on a track. The music changed to the new song, playing happily over the room’s speakers. Levi was humming along softly as he walked over to the bed. He gently adjusted the blankets and tucked his and Mike’s pillows around her. He was nearly purring as the song hit the words that sang through his very veins. 

“~I never wanna see your heart happy with another; I’m never gonna let you go, ever ‘cause you’re mine.~” He sang along, lingering the moment to watch her sleep. “~I never wanna see your heart happy with another; I’m never gonna let you go, so hold me close…~”

Mike left the room, plan to start the tea then go back and check on them, in place. Mike wanted to believe the blooming bond between Levi and her was solidifying, strengthening, but he knew what that could also mean for Levi. Mike was mostly sure Levi was getting more stable as time went on but this was a false calm. This was the quiet before the storm.

Levi joined Mike in the kitchen before the tall man could even fill the kettle. He was still humming along to the barely audible music. Levi fell into the chair at the table and let his head fall to the wood surface with a thump. Mike looked over his shoulder, eyebrow quirked at the dramatic mood change.

“Something happen?” Mike knew that Levi would just stew quietly if he did not start the ball rolling.

“The sky is mocking me.” Levi had heartbreak in his voice.

Mike looked at the man heaped at the table and felt his own heart bruise in sympathy. Levi was pressing his forehead to the table. His hands were fisted, pulling the longest part of his undercut, collecting at the back of his head. This gave Mike the wrenching view of Levi’s grief in profile.

Mike knew what Levi meant. Erwin had been described enough times to him that he had a million synonyms for blue from it. Mike had found himself wondering with increasing frequency over why Levi was getting so fiercely haunted by Erwin so suddenly. Was it fear of losing the focus of his love once again? Was it the going back on his promise to Erwin with this girl? There were so many other possibilities that it made Mike’s stomach lurch. None of them boded well for (F/N).

“You want me to stay until she is up? Leaving you to your mind might not go so well.” Mike was moving around the kitchen, food for the start of his day under preparation.

“Tch. Obviously I need out of my head. This crap just keeps coming up. I just... Ahh!” Levi smashed his fist to the table in frustration.

“What dredged this up again all of a sudden? Do you know?” Mike was worried asking directly would only net him red herrings.

“I love her. I’m in love with her. No offense, but this is the first time I’ve been in love since him.” Levi paused, waiting to see if Mike would need a moment to mull the comment over. When the large man only looked on, patiently waiting for him to continue, Levi took it as a gift. He felt lucky, so incredibly lucky, for having him as a friend. He decided to confide in him what was really eating at him.

“I love her... more.” Levi could hardly hide the guilt saying that twisted in him. He looked back to Mike, expecting to see pity or maybe surprise. That was not what greeted him at all.

“That is a wonderful thing Levi. Not bad in the slightest.” Mike was beaming in joy for his friend. This was the one option that gave Mike hope in a bright future. He walked over and rubbed small circles on the smaller man’s back. “Loving her, most, might be what gets you both through this, whole.”

“Mind staying a bit longer?” Levi was relaxing under Mike’s touch, tensions leaving him.

“Whatever you need. I’d do anything for you two.” Mike pressed a kiss to the soft fuzz of Levi’s undercut. “I love you both, after all.”

 

**

 

You felt strong hands pulling you back by the hips, bringing your back up against firm muscles. Your sleep stupor was fading as hot lips pressed to your neck, soft but rapid kisses running from your nape to jaw. A dull thought rattled in your head that this was not a great idea. You tried a little harder to remember why and it roared to the surface. Mike.

“Stop, stop. Mike-“ You barely got the words out before those hot searching lips were silencing you. He pulled back just enough to let you see his playful smirk.

“He left extra early today. Wanted to give us more time together. Alone time.”

Levi was rolling you over without giving you an inch to move. This dragged your exposed skin against what you were suddenly very aware was his fully naked form. You smiled softly at the forwardness of your sweetie. It had been around a month of the two of you not getting in more than a few minutes of chaste kissing. You were both a little more than pent up.

“Levi, I just woke up.” His fingers had found their way under your nightshirt and were exploring the soft skin underneath.

“That mean you want me to stop?” He was slowing down, urgency getting reined in. You most definitely did not mean that.

“I mean slow down, let me catch up to you.” You reached down between the two of you to stoke him. He was already hard and a little slick with excitement. Just being this close to him, him being this eager, was enough to get you started down the path he was already a ways down.

“Let’s see if I can help you make up the distance. Faster.” He buried his face in the crook of your neck, forcing your head off the pillow. You moaned softly as his lips gave way to well placed nips. You had discovered Levi had a biting fetish. That was fine by you because you had a getting bit fetish.

You were awake enough now to glance at the clock on Levi’s nightstand. In addition to the early hour you also saw several condom packets. Levi did not want to make your houseguest feel awkward, surely, and normally he would only pull out one at a time anyways. Your eyes widened a little at the understanding of what that could mean. This said something about Levi’s mood, no doubt.

Controlled movements brought your top up, over your head, letting skin press to skin in easy. Levi caught one of your arms, holding you at the leather band adorning you wrist. He twisted and adjusted you under him. He was not being rough, the pressure used was gentle, but there was an underlying demand to it. He started to remove your underwear one handed. You lifted you hips to help make it easier and the final garment was removed, leaving you both in the buff.

Levi pinned both your hands over your head, his hands at your wrists. He nestled a little more between your hips and you caught on to his intentions. He had teased you like this once before. Only this time he was bare still so he was guaranteed to need to at least pause before anything went too far.

He pushed your thigh up with his own leg, making you spread wide. You were fully aware of his whole body, his weight, pressing you into the mattress. The delicious heat of his erection trapped against your most intimate opening was definitely helping you get ready faster than simple fingers ever could. He could have just laid like that, kissing you, and you would have caught up, but then he moved.

He rocked his hips, the length of him painting a line of want down your heating skin. Just a little lower and he could push inside you. Your heart hammered at the temptation. You knew better, but intellect was not the part of your mind taking the lead right now. Still, when he thrusted and instead of sliding in he pressed hotly up you, you were hit by ambivalence. You unconsciously moved a little to try and assist his action, you body not meaning to do what your mind so definitely knew you should.

He dipped down again, your mind focused entirely on the feeling of the head of his cock getting closer and closer to entering you. When he once again forced his hips flush to yours you whimpered. You were squirming at the amazing feeling of him as he stroked your clit with the full of his length.

You were too lost in the feeling of Levi teasing the growing heat between your legs to pay mind to his expression, but you should have. He was watching with a joy he rarely let surface. He was biting his lip every time another thrust tore a sound from you. He was basking in your wonton reactions to him.

You were slowly starting to struggle more under him. Your body was starting to get adamant in wanting him inside you. Only when he had to force you arms to stay put with effort did he stop. He released one of your hands to sightlessly grab a condom. A kiss that threatened to steal the very air from your lungs was used as a distraction from the brief absence of his lower half pressing against you.

“Ready now lovely?” Levi’s words were thick in lust as he spoke into you lips. Your own voice failed you so the only response you could give was a nod.

You felt the blunt heat of him final lower enough to start to dip inside you. He was going draggingly slow as he nudged inside you. You were sure he would continue to push in, that splendid heat filling you, but he went still. He was still teasing you? Your eyes snapped to his face, expecting to see his roguish smirk at making you the eager one. Instead he was looking at you in awe. Any sharp wit you had been about to use faltered.

You looked into his eyes and saw, there in those loving hues of silver with blue, the possessive shade that had been growing daily. Ever since the long moment in his office you had been catching it more and more. Now, half held down, trapped under his weight, you realized how it impacted you. You liked the feeling that it stirred in your heart. This look meant you belonged here with him, here in the world. It gave a sense of completeness that made you feel filled up to bursting. It was a satisfying sort of warmth that bubbled up from someplace deeper than your fevered loins. Looking so long, so deeply into the eyes of the man you loved, you had one thought come into crystal clarity, a single question.

‘I wonder if he can see that same possessiveness in my eyes?’

Before your tongue could form the words to ask him, Levi’s lips were covering yours. His own tongue stole the question right out of your mouth with his skillful tasting of you. He all too quickly abandoned your mouth to once more start nibbling your neck. He started working the soft skin below your ear when his hips demanded your full attention. He had started pushing inside you at last.

The motion was slow, controlled. You had a sense of Levi savoring the feeling. It was a quality he brought to every encounter, a feeling of it being the first time all over again. You felt like he was memorizing the exact way he fit so perfectly inside you. Just the right amount of tightness, stretching but never painfully so. You had your own mind swimming with trying to collect all the details only to forget everything as he began to move.

You both had been teased too much to hesitate any longer, it seemed. He was already moving with long fast strokes. He would slam into you, vulgar wet sounds transforming to erotic in the moment. You were right with him in the throws of it, instinct helping make every meeting exquisite. As Levi started moving into shallower thrusts, you could not help your building anticipation.

The rhythm started to lose Levi’s forced control letting you know he was drawing close. You knew what was fast approaching and that was enough to push you to the very edge. Every pump of his hip had you gasping for him. You depths knew any second he would give you release, by coming himself.

It was a wordless sound he made but the feel of him forcing his twitching head right into that one needy spot left your raking your free hand’s nails down his back. Your orgasm was surging through you, making your body tremble. He wrapped around you hard as your pulsing brought his own climax on strong. He was spilling heat into you and you felt almost like you were swallowing that warmth down.

You slowly became aware of breathing again. You were still adrift in the afterglow. Levi was left boneless atop you, his weight the only thing anchoring you to consciousness. You weakly attempted to move any part of you. You managed to twitch one of the fingers of the hand held, loosely, over your head. Levi had his hand as dead weight on the band around your wrist, euphoria reducing his hold to nonexistent. A breath more and an involuntary twitch of deep muscles had Levi’s hands finding the strength to grab ahold of you at your wrist and your hip.

“Shit, easy there.” He was mostly listless but you could feel his own aftershock reminding you he was deep in you still. Both of your bodies were still riding out the high.

“Didn’t do it on purpose.” Your voice was breathy from the duel sensation.

When your bodies finally settled down, Levi slowly freed himself from you. You were glad to not be stuck in a sweaty heap but you were also struck by a feeling being uncomfortably empty. One of these days maybe the two of you could fall asleep so peacefully entangled. Or maybe not; with a stamina you still could not match, Levi was up and headed for the shower before you could even find your bones again. This man and cleanliness.

“I’ll shower first, then start on breakfast. We can have a meal together before round two.” Levi was posed naked in the doorway of the master bath. You suspected he did not even know he did it. He was just so effortlessly handsome that the simple act of standing still was worthy of being commemorated as a statue. Only after he smirked and closed the door did you brain process his words.

“Round two?” You called from your liquified position through the closed door. You were fairly certain you heard a very masculine chuckle over the sound of the shower.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I am so grateful to ALL my readers for taking the time to come and let me share this mess in my head with you all! 
> 
> I invite your constructive criticisms! Your comments help me improve and your kudos are a pat on the back saying I "done good". I am so happy to have you, my readers.


	7. Calling Out To No Response

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am going to just flat out say the Voice is rough with Reader so I am reminding about possible depression triggers. Nowhere near the level of chapter two but still might be something you'll want to be prepared for.

You called again, for the umpteenth time. Tears were no longer falling, you had slumped into a numb sort of calm. The only thing keeping you calling him was your promise. You had promised to call him.

The call once again went to voicemail. You tried his desk line. No answer until his voicemail picked up. You weren't expecting him to pick up. You had tried the front desk and Marco had confirmed that Levi had left the building.

'He is with Mike. Without you. He doesn't want you. Never wanted you.'

You rang Levi's cell again. You had pushed yourself into a corner in the living room after locking the cats away from you in the bedroom. The kitchen also seemed too risky and the bathrooms were much too dangerous. Like every time before you listened to his message, asking for a name and number and explaining if it was about Zoë that a fire alarm should be pulled immediately.

'So easy to just let them have each other. Get out of the way. You should leave. Just go out the door and not come back.'

You wouldn't let yourself get up though. You had promised. He was the love of your life, and the last act you would ever do was not going to be breaking a promise to him.

'If you went out that door you could find heavy traffic, a bus, a high building...'

"Shut up!!! Be quiet, be still, be SILENT!! Fuck you! They love me. Levi is IN love with me! I will not break my promise so you should just give up!"

'Yes. You should give up. Give in. There must be something here to take away the pain. Maybe under a sink?'

You clamped your arms over your head, frantic to try and stop the Voice from being heard. You called Levi's cell again and listened to his soothing voice ask for your name and number. You started crying with renewed vehemence. You were losing ground. It was getting harder to stay focused. Nothing made sense, everything was just pain. You hit dial again.

'He would understand. He loves us. He will forgive us in the end. Just. Give. Up.' The image of the bloody masked you from your nightmare came clearly to mind.

"Us?" You said it out loud to better distance yourself from the Voice. It might be taking a step toward total insanity but crazy was fixable, death was not. You started to speak at the Voice, to argue with the Voice as if that person were in the room, standing before you. The Voice that was you, but an alien part of you. "He loves ME, he HATES you! Fuck you! Fuck your plan for ‘us’, of ME dying!!!"

You were screaming out your defiance. The sound of your real voice echoed in the halls as you felt the deepest of rages take up a steady flame. Just like when the Voice had wanted to harm Bishop, you were angry now. You had found an inch, a thought that really mattered and it was stronger than the Voice.

"You want ME dead, not both of us, you worthless shit. You can't win though, you can't kill me because I am HIS! Not yours, NEVER yours! I am his and you will never have me!" You were yelling out to the ether at the top of your lungs. The passion you felt for Levi, for the world you shared with him, was an fire storm. Powerful and engulfing, you let it burn away the chill the Voice had put in your bones.

"(F/N)? You alright little bird? It's Mike, you weren't answering your phone, or the door." When Mike entered the room you ran to him. His eyes widened as he took in your disheveled appearance and tear stained cheeks. He undid the straps of a leather wrist band on his arm and secured it on you.

"That fucking bitch. (F/N), have you gotten ahold of Levi? I tried him but only got voicemail. You know where he is?"

As if gravity had suddenly kicked in, you felt calm and grounded, brought back to reality. The too large arm band from Mike helped clear your mind like a leather anchor. The Voice was silent just like when you had on Levi's clothing after a talk. Mike could help, but the Voice felt like a looming threat on the horizon. Mike was not as helpful as Levi, but the two of you might be able to weather this.

"No, I have been calling him for over an hour. He isn't at work either. You don't think..." you trailed off as the totally unrealistic question accusing the Voice of foul play took shape.

"Levi would never fall for it, little bird. He isn't the kind to fall into traps." The fact that Mike seemed to treat the Voice just like Levi was surprisingly helpful. That Mike would just assume you had been about to speculate to the Voice doing such a thing was comforting. Also slightly alarming from the psychological dangers of Mike dismissing that Levi would fall into a trap instead of dismissing that the Voice would be able to harm them.

"I'm sorry little bird. I'm just not as strong as Levi. I want to help but this is already taking a heavy toll on me. You think if I'm here with you, you can withstand the Voice with less help?”

You were struck by the oddness of what he said, but intuitively understood to some extent. What Mike was saying was just strange but you could see the way his shoulders slumped, the invisible weight on his back. You nodded and felt what had been a clarifying sort of grounded start to slip away. You grabbed Mike's hand and he pulled you into his arms. You had no idea what this even meant about your grasp on reality but you hoped it meant Mike had a firmer grip than you.

Mike sat you both on the couch as he sourced the remote. Searching for something to watch from this position seemed to be his intention. He settled you onto his lap and kissed your forehead. You wished you were feeling anything but the leaching Voice getting it's claws back into you.

"Mike, I need Levi. I won't be able to win this without help." You pressed your face into his chest and took in the earthy musk that was Mike. Mike did not say anything to dismiss Levi DOING something to make this easier, he did not even try and point out it was all in your head. If anything his actions made it seem like he agreed with you. He held on a little tighter and rocked you silently on his lap. 

 

**

 

He counted the rings up to ten again. Still neither of them were answering their phones. Levi drummed his fingers on his phone as he lowered the phone from his ear. A growing frustration at not getting either of their voicemails was making a knot in his gut. He was across town, over two hours away if traffic was manageable, and traffic was never manageable. He knocked on the door a second time, louder this time. He had left work for this, using one of his few short days to be here. They could at least be quick about getting the damn door.

The door opened and a mop of red hair was tackling him. He smirked softly as he took the whole of her weight and still kept his footing. He did love her greeting him like this, even if it was a bit more poorly trained puppy than grown ass woman. He more or less carried her through the doorway, waltzing them a little to keep from tripping on her.

“Happy to see you too, Isabel. Where is Farlan?” He closed the door behind them, already lamenting that he would need to cut their time short. He wanted to get home. He had a bad feeling and that rarely happened without good cause.

 

**

 

You were burying your face in the crook of Mike’s neck, having adjusted to straddling his lap. You tried Levi again and let the recorded voice help you ground yourself with Mike acting as your physical anchor. You had given up on Levi’s answering his phone and were now just listening to his soothing tone to try and drown out the Voice.

She was continuing to mock you, taunt you. You could hardly keep up with all her cruel words. She was saying Levi had abandoned you. She was trying to convince you that, even as close as he was, Mike hated you. You burrowed a little more into him at that and Mike seemed to notice the change in you.

“It’s ok little bird. I love you. He loves you even more. We are going to keep you safe, so don’t pay the damn Voice any mind. I’m not letting you go.” Mike tightened his grip on your waist a little more, making you very aware of the strength of him.

He was idly searching through random daytime TV and seemed more than content to stay like this for as long as it took. A few times you had moved to try and free him from your weight on his lap, to just sit beside him, only to have him force you right back. He would not even discuss it, you were trapped. It was a safe sort of captured though. He was trying so hard to keep you from drifting away to wherever the Voice was trying to drag you. 

He happily used the most powerful tool in his arsenal, his superior size, to remove any notion you might have of escape. One would think that escape would be the last thing on your mind but no, a panic was getting drummed up and you wanted to _run_. Mike was not letting you have so much as an inch, however. Maybe he could see it in your eyes, maybe he just had enough sense to suspect, regardless he was keeping a firm grip on you at all times. He kept gently petting and kissing you when you tensed. He was whispering comments about the shows into you hair, humming tunes during the commercials. No doubt you were trapped until Levi appeared. You dialed again, and listened to Levi’s message. He would be home soon. You just had to believe in him, and it would be alright.

 

**

 

“Isabel, I can’t stay. I haven’t gotten ahold of my girl and she isn’t calling me, something is off. I have to go.” Levi was speaking to Isabel while his focus was entirely on his phone.

“Let him go, Izzy. We will see him again soon.” Farlan had given up sorting his sleep tussled hair and just left it sticking up at odd angles when he saw how antsy Levi was. The intended luncheon was now being abandoned and Farlan was not going to try and stay awake if Levi was leaving after only just arriving.

Levi fingered the small box in his pocket while he counted the rings on the line again. Eight, nine, ten... he hung up and tried a different number. He looked at the cell phone peeking out of Isabel’s pocket, and waited. Six, seven, eight... Levi took the device out of her pocket and watched in horror as it did not ring. Nine, ten...

“Shit. Fucking shit-headed, sow faced... when I find the fucker I’m leaving her in PIECES!” Levi was already running out the door.

Farlan only watched his closest friend leave. He did not know what was going on, but he knew better than to slow Levi up by asking. When Isabel went to go after him, Farlan grabbed her at the waist, not a good idea for her. It was not often Levi looked like that anymore.

“Let him go, he is dangerous when he is like this.” Farlan did not want Levi showing his dark side to Isabel, if they could help it.

“But he still has my phone!” Isabel pouted.

“He’ll get it back to us, soon, I imagine. If nothing else it’ll be in the weekly care package along with an apology note.” Farlan spoke with a certainty that was not on his face. There was a confused sort of concern furrowing his brows. Whatever was happening, he was glad is was not him Levi was so furious with.

 

**

 

You had lost track of time when you heard the banging on the front door. It was a frantic sort of thing that boomed through the whole house. A crash from the bedroom confirmed it even startled at least one of the cats.

“Wrap your legs around my waist.” Mike ordered as he started to get up to answer the bombardment of the front door.

“Wait, Mike just put me down?” You felt a bit embarrassed being carried to the door like a naughty toddler.

“Nope. Either wrap your legs around me to make it easier or I’ll just do all the work myself, but I am not putting you down.” Mike was steadily moving toward the noisy banging at the door. You wrapped your legs around him as best you could and he moved with a bit more ease to open the door.

“Oh thank fuck, maybe now he will get off my damn phone.” Rico looked like she was only half happy to see you. The other half was pissed as fuck. She then turned her attention to the phone in her hand. “Hello? Levi? Yeah I’m looking right at them and- no I will not-“ Rico suddenly pulled her phone away from her ear as the voice of your sweetheart carried from the ear piece at a volume even you could hear clearly. Unsurprisingly the words were mostly unkind. “Fine! Fine! Here! Not like they don’t have their own damn phones or anything!” Rico did not bother trying to put the phone back to her ear to see if he heard her yielding.

“Levi?” Mike took the phone and tried to speak loud enough to get Levi to stop yelling long enough to notice his victory. It was not working. Levi was in full rant mode. Mike looked at the phone, face sour as he tried to think of a different plan to get Levi to calm.

“Levi?” You managed to push his name out as your heart started hammering harder. The Voice was getting louder, disorientating you. It was as if the sound of Levi speaking had the Voice trying for one last all-out swipe at you. You hugged Mike tighter, squinting your eyes shut at the Voice echoing through your head. Only now, your fierce protector knew you were in danger, and had gained a way to reach you.

“Sweetheart?” Levi’s Voice was soft and urgent in your ear. Everything else fell away and it was just Levi that you could hear, the Voice was silent. Mike had managed to get the phone pressed to your ear while still balancing his carrying you.

“You weren’t answering your phone.” You started crying again, this time from the relief of hearing his voice responding to you. This was not his recording.

“I’m so sorry sweetheart, I don’t know what happened with my phone. I’m on my way home now. Why don’t you hop in the shower, put on something comfy and we can have lunch, the three of us.” He sounded so calm now when only seconds ago there had been yelled threats and vulgarities. “You go wash up, I’m gonna talk with Mike a second then I will be home before you know it.” You nodded into the phone, lack of that being a viable response getting overlooked since you were finally being released by Mike to go get washed up. You walked back deeper into the house to use the master bath for your shower.

“She out of ear shot?” Levi was whispering to Mike, who had been listening the whole time.

“Yeah, she is telling off the cats for breaking something, might have been a lamp? Rico was knocking like a thunderstorm, startled all of us.” Mike did not bother with the same muted but jovial tone he had been using for you now that he only had Levi and Rico listening. His voice held a deep concern and exhaustion. Rico looked confused, obviously not having heard even half of what Mike had.

“Damn bitch fucked with my phone. Not sure when but thankfully I realized it when I had access to a phone she wouldn’t have been watching. Don’t leave (F/N) alone, not even... in the shower. Just don’t do-“

“I would die before I saw you coming. Don’t I know it. I won’t take advantage. Don’t worry. Just hurry up and get home. Bring food, I haven’t even been able to get so much as a cup of coffee in her.” Mike had a sorrow in his tone. He could guess where Levi would have been if not at work and not on his way home. What he had hoped would be a happy occasion was now going to need a bit of time for healing first.

“Be home soon. Thank Rico for me.” Levi disconnected the call before Mike could correct him on his word choice.

“Levi wanted me to apologize to you for his... him. He has been really worried about (F/N). Her phone wasn’t working and he thought I was at work. He panicked thinking that she might need help.” Mike lied smoothly.

Rico nodded, taking everything Mike said at face value. She could not have heard Levi’s earlier comments so it would seem more reasonable to blame your phone over Levi’s. Rico knew about the depression. She had been very reasonable about letting you out of your lease after everything and even helped move your stuff over to Levi’s. Not that it was that far of a walk. Mike returned Rico’s phone and had to keep from channeling Levi and just closing the door in her face.

“Thanks for coming over but I need to get back to her, she is not doing so hot. Sorry to be rude.” Mike was already closing the door. 

“Just look after her. I have my own work to get back to.” Rico rushed out her answer, her own grumpy foot falls being heard before the door even shut.

 

 

You were a little surprised when Mike just let himself into the master bath to sit on the floor. He had his back to the shower to give you as much privacy as you could get with him in the room. You had growled a few impolite things to which he simply hummed acknowledgement, but stayed put.

“If you are sitting there when Levi gets home you are gonna get it.” You tried warning him when you failed to prove threatening enough on your own.

“Levi is the one that said I should do this so you had best just get clean so you can get dressed and we can watch the next episode of that Law and Order marathon. He is on his way but there is traffic and food gathering between him and home.” Mike sounded better to you, as if Levi had somehow helped ease the tiredness that had been pressing on the tall man.

You finished showering and Mike kept his back to you while you toweled off and dressed, even if he did stay within arms reach. You returned to the couch to continue where you had left off, only now a little more at peace. Mike pulled you back onto his lap as you both returned to watching the tv, letting the crime drama distract from the slow passing of time.

When the sound of the front door opening hit your ears you were up and at the door before Levi could get in the house. He blindly handed one of the bags of food to you as he fought with his keys in the door. The smell of  macaroni and cheese along with vegetable soup made your mouth water. The fact that Levi had a second bag, filled with what looked like sandwiches, told you Mike had ratted you out for not eating yet. 

When you reached the kitchen Mike took both bags and started putting out the food with an earnest that spoke of his need to be sure you were fed. No sooner had Mike taken the bag of sandwiches than Levi’s arms were around you. The hardened resolve you had been using to hold yourself together crumbled as you let your guard down enough to finally relax. 

You were a trembling mass in his arms, held close and secure. You had not started crying again, thankfully. It was like you had just started to be able to breathe again. Clarity was rushing in with every  breath. You were inhaling the smell of him, soap and cologne with that one of a kind scent that was pure Levi. The world started to feel real again now that he was holding you, solid body under your touch. Everything would be alright, you knew it with a deep certainty now that you were safe in Levi’s arms. Stability had returned in only minutes of Levi’s presence when the hours of Mike’s had only stalled your falling. 

The three of you sat to eat, a conversation starting about Levi needing to find a gift for Rico. It quickly turned into a debate about whether it would be a thank you or an apology gift. You left them to their lively bickering to start in on the food. You were so focused on eating you missed the satisfied pride on Levi’s face over picking something you liked so much. Mike was also beaming over your just diving in to eat after the suffering you had just been enduring. The moment was ended all too quickly when Levi’s phone made the first sound it had all day. 

Levi was looking at the device with a sick sort of sorrow, looking up at you as he obviously took note of how many missed calls he had. No doubt he was kicking himself for not finding a way to get in touch with you sooner. Scrolling through the calls he stopped, eyes going wide. He tapped the screen and put the phone to his ear.

“Eld? Tch. Yes… Yeah sorry my phone was on the blink or something, I missed a LOT of important calls.” Levi looked abashed by the admittance. He was sadly glancing at you before continuing with Eld. “Can’t Shitty-glasses handle… Yeah, no, I immediately realized I was wrong to expect anything of that maniac aside for structural damage. I’ll be in soon as I can.” Levi looked totally crushed as the words left his mouth. You realized you had stopped breathing only when you went to speak but had no air in your lungs.

“It’ll be alright little bird. I will stay with you. Levi wont be gone long.” Mike was gentle in his tone. He stayed in his seat but he pulled back as if getting ready to stand.

It was clear that you were not taking the idea of Levi going away again very well. Levi looked so guilty for needing to leave that you felt ashamed for making it worse. It was enough to make you try and fake a smile well enough to fool him that you were okay with his leaving. 

“Idiot.”He said it with such affection, he might have been using a pet name. He saw through your attempt at hiding your fears with ease. “I won’t be gone long and it looks like my phone is working again. I’ll be back as soon as I can.” He sounded like he was trying to convince himself as well as you. 

He pulled you up out of your seat and held you tightly. He gave a soft set of kisses that searched along your cheeks. When his lips eventually found yours you were kissing him back franticly. You knew he would come back, you knew it would be only a brief parting, but it had you panicking all the same. You kissed him like you might never kiss him again. His own kiss mirrored your desperation and seemed to pain him to stop.

Levi pulled away reluctantly, looking about as happy to go as you felt watching him. It was hardly a normal parting between you. He was leaving but he kept a hold of you as long as he could. Only when his fingers dropped away from no longer reaching you did he turn and rush out the door. He was trotting to his car, hopes of his rushing there making it so he would be back all the sooner carried him forward. His hand kept dipping into his pocket, small box the only thing comforting him.

Mike pulled you onto his lap from his seat at the table. You were crestfallen and he let you curl up on him all over again. He picked you up, food abandoned, and went back to the position of waiting. The marathon was still going and you let the mystery and suspense take over all your thoughts. You jumped when your phone chirped at you. You looked at it and sighed in a relief that was a bit unexpected from something so simple, but looking at the text from Levi, you smiled a little bigger, relaxing into Mike’s hold.

-I love you.-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I have said before, comments are always loved! I do enjoy feed back, good and bad, letting me see how to improve.
> 
> My real goal has always been to maybe inspire you, my audience, to dream and feed your Muse. Thank you for letting me add this chaos in to your life!


	8. Stolen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been fighting with the pacing on this too long. Sorry, my loves. ^.^

Mike used a jarring ringtone for his work line, you discovered. It reminded you of that fog horn sound in movie trailers. It was fitting considering that it only happened when things had gone pear shaped at his store. You tried not to eavesdrop on the conversation even though Mike would not let you off his lap to let him up.

“Yeah… Yeah, okay, I’ll be right in…. Yep. No, it’s fine. Be right there, I’m with a friend so I’m closer… Yeah, on my way now.” Mike sounded annoyed, not worried.

You were panicking. Mike leaving before Levi got back felt terrifying. You were feeling better, the Voice had not reappeared since Levi had gotten ahold of you. Still the idea of being alone was too much.

“You need to get your shoes on. We have to go to my work.” Mike was speaking into your hair. You had burrowed into the crook under his chin in your growing anxiety.

“What?” You had your brain lurch.

“I have to go in to deal with an order issue. I am not leaving you here, so that means you are coming with me.” Mike was rubbing your back, fingers finding all the knots and easing them with a touch.

“Oh.” You were a little surprised with yourself for not thinking of that option. Sure Levi’s home felt like the safest place in the world but it was not like you did not frequent the grocery.

You got up, slowly. You looked yourself over, concluding that what you were wearing was appropriate for a trip to the market. You put on your shoes and quickly took Mike’s offered hand as you went out into the dusk.

Mike took your hand again as he drove. “Mind giving Levi a text that we might not be home when he gets there? I will be quick, but if he is back without us there it won’t go well.”

“Yep. Will do.” You pulled out your phone and composed the text one handed. Nothing was making you let go of Mike if you could help it.

-We are at the market. Might beat you home but wanted to let you know, just in case.-

Levi was quick to answer.

-Thanks sweetheart.-

You held the phone to you a little tighter, hugging his words as you wished you could hold him.

 

**

 

Levi walked in the front door. Silence. They were not home yet.

-Almost done?-

Levi texted Mike first. Mike did not respond.

“Shit. Fucking-“ Levi roared as he slammed the front door behind him. He ran to his car. Hopefully he was not too late.

 

**

 

You looked down at the baked goods and tried to pick between cinnamon rolls or blueberry scones. Mike had promised not to be long but that did not mean you could not try and quickly buy a treat from the bakery. 

You looked up and choked on a gasp. The profile you glimpsed, now slightly obscured by a black baseball cap being pulled lower over it, could not belong to whom you thought. He darted away, pulling up his black hoodie to hide his identity even more.

You gave chase, hoping it was just some kid trying to shoplift. Not a serial killer, a missing movie buddy. You looked down the aisle and upon not seeing the person you moved to the next. As you neared the last aisle a peculiarity hit you. Not only had you not seen the man, you had not seen anyone down any of the aisles. 

"(F/N)!" You turned to the sound of Mike calling your name just in time to see the ambush. He had emerged from the double doors of the store room at the worst possible time. The thing seemed to step out of Mike's own shadow. 

It wasn't a person, but it stood on two legs all the same. The elongated extremities allowed it to tower over the six foot five Mike. Eight feet? Nine? More? The hunching back made it difficult to be sure. The ominous raven head turned to look at you over Mike, red eyes glowing like backlit rubies. You raised your hand, voice collected to warn him too late. 

It lashed out and no sooner had the motion started than Mike was now missing an arm and leg. Red splashed everywhere, darkening quickly to an inky black on the slick linoleum. Mike was grabbing at the thing with his one arm, rage made all the more garish by his blood spattered face. The raven gave a laugh that held the timber of the smaller animals characteristic caw. 

"Run Little Bird! Go for the front door!" Mike's yelling to you pulled you out of shock and back into the empty store. 

You did as commanded and made a dash for the main entrance. When the second large form seemed to rise up like being poured out of the floor, you barely had the traction to stop and turn. A swipe of elongated limbs missed their grab for you. 

You made a break for the ill fated back entrance. The one that had been you destination when Eren had abducted you, what felt like so long ago. You jumped over a shadow that skittered along the ground, not that you could see anything making the small pool of shade. The large raven headed creature climbed up through the dark spot, as if pulling itself through a window. The time it took to get up was all you needed to make it to the door.

You ran through the automatic doors and came to a full stop. Your mind sputtered and body stalled once you saw the sky, or rather, what should have been the sky. It was stone, red and brown blending into a sort of umber ceiling. When the warm body collided with you, taking you to the ground you were too shocked at your surroundings to even scream. 

Flipped over onto your back you whimpered as you saw who was holding you down. He looked mostly as you remembered, with a sweet smile and playfully tussled brown locks. His eyes, however, gave away that everything had gone completely wrong. The bright pools of emerald were glowing, as if backlit, irises framed in black obsidian instead of human white. Eren's Christmas tree eyes were now demonic like the ones from your dream.

 

**

 

Levi entered the market and knew immediately he was too late. The smell was unmistakable. Giving a tut he exited the market to be free of cameras catching what he needed to do. He pulled a short blade from the armory he had amassed. The black, squared off blade was half of a pair of daggers. He also possessed a pair of swords that looked the same only larger. For the task at hand the ten inch cutting edge that blended seamlessly with the grip was all he needed. One of his favorites and one of the oldest, it was easily strong enough to help him cut through the space. A flick of blade, a twist of hand through blood, and a drawn sigil in the air later and Levi was on the necessary plane. 

Entering the shadow space building done up to look like the market, Levi left the umber stone ceiling that had replaced the sky behind. Inside he could see a large black pool that smelt unmistakably of Mike's blood. Levi saw no sign of a body but that was small comfort with the presence of this much blood. Levi was on a task though, he could not stop to look for his friend. Finding (F/N) was all that mattered. 

He went toward the back entrance slowly, looking for any sign of what might have dragged the missing pair into the dimension Levi hated entering. His senses, while out of practice, still easily tracked the scent of the three chasing his girl. Muninn and Huginn were familiar. The third scent was one Levi had hoped not to catch for at least a decade more. Eren was here, after his girl. 

Levi kept moving, exiting the fake market through its rear doors. The smear of blood was small, made by only the tiniest of scuffs. Levi needed only this tiny sign that she had been injured to spark a rage in him that could only be extinguished with her return. If he was denied her for too long even Hel would be scorched to ash by his wrath.

Levi closed his eyes and called his long slumbering power to him. He pulled from the shadows a mask that he had thought to stop wearing. The wolf mask was grey and white, with golden filigree accents making the black enamel lines sharp. He was behind them by a ways but he would make up the lost ground. He was built for war, a scout at the front of the lines from the days of sandy pyramids being built. The fools had stolen from a war god. This would not end well for them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully this doesn't feel too free-fall yet still feels like a free-fall?


End file.
